This is actually a poem that I wrote over 14 years ago for one of my closest friends, who had just died after a 2 year battle with breast cancer. We found ourselves in a situation that I could never have envisaged as our close friendship became one of nurse and patient. I was recognising signs and symptoms before they were diagnosed, and I encouraged her to accept a referral to my place of work for palliative care. The day that I called my consultant to arrange for her to be admitted and then called her hubby to tell him, I went home and sobbed.
The next day I donned my blue dress and I went to work to care for my patients and my friend. I was the nurse in charge and had to be professional, but after handing over to the night shift I couldn’t stop myself from begging the night girls to take good care of her. She came home the next day, a Saturday, and died at home the early hours of Tuesday morning. She was 37 and had the most beautiful smile in the world.
We awoke to snow this morning and the Monday garden did look pretty magical! But then the reality kicks in as we don’t do snow well here in the UK and by mid morning the rail companies were already announcing changes and cancellations to timetables tomorrow. My girl and her friends are dying for the snow to continue so that they have a snow day tomorrow – it is bitterly cold, but I’m not sure if there will be enough snow for no school.
My morning has been spent with another hospital visit: picking up results, being booked in for more investigations and all rounded off with the obligatory vampire visit for blood tests. Apparently I’m anaemic (again) and my red blood cells are small…that is a new one on me. It did make me smile when the young registrar asked how much red meat I eat….I could hear the student engineer’s response which sure enough he gave when I said it too him later “Never enough, MOTHER!! We NEED steak every day”. In your dreams boy, unless you want to start paying more rent….
There has been a huge loss in our house this week leaving a massive void. It is a death, but not of a person or a pet. We have had to have our enormous ornamental cherry tree cut down as it was diseased and one half had already died. But we tried to keep it for as long as possible – I don’t know how old it was, but we have been her 18 years – as it was such a major feature of the garden. Now there is literally an empty void and a huge scar in the shape of diseased, raw stumps and an overwhelming that sadness that there won’t be the pink blossoms this year, or even the nightmare of the leaves in the autumn. Funny how this loss can induce grief isn’t it?! So I guess soon we will be looking for a new family member to inhabit the back garden…maybe another fruit tree, or something faster growing…..
My weekly inspiring blog posts may be coming a little to you than normal….in fact it is nearly wine o’clock here for those who enjoy a tipple, or perhaps that coffee is still on the menu. So whatever your drink of choice, sit back and enjoy a few minutes with some inspiring blog posts and a vlog this week! I will definitely be having a go at baking the GF choc chip cookies and eating them whilst reading some of your posts…..
It is the beginning of the week so that must mean time for some inspiring blog posts in a little Monday magic! The last week has encompassed Valentine’s Day, the second half of half term and a trip to Berlin in our household.
I did manage to get to the RSC Twelfth Night at our local cinema, and whilst I couldn’t stand by the end, it really is a superb production. Adrian Edmondson – yes of Young Ones fame – steals the show for me with an outstanding performance of Malvolio.
Adrian Edmondson as Malvolio (source: Google Images)
When coerced by his colleagues into ridiculous costume, Malvolio gallivanted across the stage serenading the audience, making me think of a cross between a jester and an English Morris man! So how did the rest of the family mark Valentine’s Day? We arrived home to pizza boxes and various teenage girls wrapped up in blankets in the lounge, and the student engineer did make a trip to London for an evening for two – I don’t believe he has a romantic bone in his body though! As for the politics student, contact has been remarkably quiet this week….but he is probably even worse than his brother, so I would be very surprised if his girlfriend was given a card, let alone flowers!!
The eldest jetted off to Berlin for a weekend away with friends…..the friends were staying in a posh(ish) hotel and our engineer was staying in a hostel next door. Never one to waste money, his thought process went something like this “I’m not spending all that on a hotel, but if I stay next door I can sneak in with my mates and still use the facilities!” We only knew he had arrived when his sister had a photo pop up on Snapchat…..I asked him to send some pics, thinking he or his friends might feature in them, but this is what he sent! He is currently sending us angry emoji faces as he has been sitting on the tarmac for 2 hours in a plane that has a “problem”! I believe they are now airborne, so hubby has been summoned to Heathrow……
I have selected a wide assortment of posts again this week – but I believe that there is something here for everyone. The Big Money Saver post, whilst not specifically a chronic piece, is great for my spoonie friends out there and the post on PixieDusk “We Need To Talk about Cancer” is truly inspirational and I urge you all to read it. When I found the wonderfully named Pass The Prosecco Please blog I was determined to find something there to share, purely because I love the name!! The Mens’ Health Summit is really important – all you blokes out there should have a look, and if the men won’t, ladies please do! The posts are all fab, so sit back with a cuppa – or a Prosecco! – and steal some time to read relax and enjoy.
Welcome to a bit of Monday magic – I hope you all had a great weekend. We saw the middle child, aka the politics student, return to university yesterday and I don’t think it took too much preparation on his part because he hadn’t unpacked most of it since his return! Yes, he has been living from the cases on the floor of his bedroom for the last few weeks, which have become increasingly full of chocolate wrappings from Christmas, crisp packets, new gifts, clean washing, dirty washing…you get the picture, not an inch of carpet to be seen. Anyway hubby deposited him back yesterday with or without all that he needs and the next thing will be to reclaim the room and change the odour from Eau de Teen Boy to fresh air!!
The eldest continues to undergo job interviews from the various applications that he has put in. Since when did the selection process become so complicated? If you get shortlisted from your application, you firstly complete a phone interview, then online psychometric tests (“Mum should I say what I think they want to hear, or what I think might be right, or is there even a right answer?” “How on earth should I know? I’m just your mother!”) then in his case, a phone/skype interview with a live computer coding test…..and then after all this a face to face interview in an office, meeting a real person, drinking coffee and talking! Wow! He does have a final interview this week with a big American firm (so I’m told) – but I have no idea what they do, what he would do…..just hope something comes to fruition …..and if it requires a move out of home and away from my kitchen & bathroom, hurray(and then we will welcome him back for visits with open arms!!).
This week I was sad to see a couple of blogging groups’ admins have to post that group members were not following basic rules and were not supporting the spirit of the groups. I really hope that this is the minority of bloggers and that the majority still look to support others, follow people because of a genuine interest and to interact. Maybe I am being naive, but I hope not. I have some old blog friends and some brand new bloggers to introduce here with a huge variety of post – from healthy eating (although the advice will not work with the student engineer!) to dealing with bullying to the hilarious post from Hot Mess Memoirs about giving back crying babies.
Sit back, grab a cuppa and enjoy some terrific posts!
A week into the new year, the decorations are down, the Christmas tree is looking forlorn on the back lawn and the kids back to school. Well in our case nearly…..the lovely girl returns tomorrow, the middle child returns to university next weekend and the student engineer returned today, just as the UK train strikes started up.
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Our house has been a mad frenzy of coursework this last week – 2 projects for the final year of Engineering involving analysing the use of Boris bikes in London and Deep Learning (whatever that may be!); the lovely girl has been finishing her sketch books and final piece for her art, although any visitors would have thought she was decorating the lounge!! The title of her works – “I, Me, Mine” and “Blood, Flesh, Bones” – so she has focused on our genetic Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I have spent some time modelling for her photographs and I wish I could report that they are super glam….but they are not!!! Instead she wanted close ups of my body parts which looked the most veiny – charming.
My Elbow!
Hubby managed the delayed visit to his parents, and whilst he was away I enjoyed reading and sharing a huge variety of blog posts. This is just a small assortment varying from favourite books, to beauty products to a yummy recipe for dairy free ice cream. Two that really stand out, and are poles apart, are Tania’s about her need for a Smartdrive for her wheelchair (I am slightly biased as we share the same condition) and The Bryntin Project’s plea to us all to realise the harm our birthday balloons are doing.
So grab a cuppa and take a break whilst you dive into some fab blog reads. Please comment, like and share!
I hope that you have all had a wonderful holiday season – I appreciate that for many of you this will have been hampered by health problems, for others it may be the first year since a bereavement, or just simply a difficult time – but we have to believe that there is always something positive, even out of negatives (hope my eldest is reading…..we call him Mr Glass half empty!).
I’m not going to do a look back at my year and bore you silly…..this week is probably enough. Our week hasn’t gone exactly to plan – when does it ever? – with yours truly managing to fall off the sofa (I know, I know!) and putting out my shoulders, neck, ankle and hip in one foul swoop!! Of course this would be the night before we were due to travel to visit the in laws…..add hubby having a horrendous case of man flu (actually he has the most awful chesty cough and was banished to an empty child’s bed last night!) and the trip is off. if you are reading, Dave and Wendy – I am so sorry! Kids are too as it meant any plans for New Year’s Eve parties in this house were ruined…..the teen girls due to gather decamped to another location and at the time of writing we have had no communications from the lovely girl! Plus one boy still old cold and snoring in bed here, having made it home.
But two huge positives for me were managing a lovely family meal out on Boxing Day, and hosting the extended family the day after. My brother’s family, the student engineer’s partner, and of course my lovely parents…..plus the drone that one very silly auntie bought her nephew for Christmas. Well I didn’t think he would be flying it around my living room!!!
I have put together a huge list of New Year blog posts for you from some of my blogging family…..many from the Big Up Your Blog community, others from Chronic Illness Bloggers. There are reflections, good wishes, goals & resolutions, poetry and don’t miss Phil’s hilarious Predictions from a legit Psychic! Plus the first is a great blogging invitation on Smorgasbord. Sit back with a glass of something good (dry Jan can start tomorrow!) and enjoy.
Well here we are, friends, in December and I cannot believe just how the year has flown by. There are plenty of fantastic Blogmas posts that have begun to appear in the blogosphere, but I am resisting the urge to share just Christmas posts….yet!
We had our first Christmas night out last week with our local book club. My hubby Duncan and I meet with like minded friends once a month in the local pub and have a very informal, often funny, chat about the book that we have all read the previous month…..or not in the case of Duncan! Actually that’s probably not fair – sometimes other people haven’t read the book either!! No, seriously, he has read a couple in the past. Anyway this month – with a meal out being on the menu – we found ourselves accompanied by the eldest and yougest kids…..the middle one probably would have come too if he had not been at uni. I was worried that book club might think they were being overtaken by the Bendy family, but they were happy for the engineer and lovely girl to join us – particularly when the student engineer found a voucher for 30% off. He even chose the book for December – which I have purchased on audible in the hope that hubby might get to the end of it if he can listen whilst walking the dogs.
Well, maybe this old man won’t be walking! 15 years young, Sam is quite happy on his bed thanks!
Dunc and Prince
I was incredulous when in the space of 10 days I received two hospital appointment cancellation letters – one rheumatology and one cardiology. But then I had a CT scan appointment for my shoulder out of the blue scheduled the week before Christmas, NHS at 7.20pm. I had no idea appointments were ever scheduled this late!! Today I had a phone call for an orthopaedic appointment – so where I have lost two, I have gained another two…..don’t worry that they are different speciality.
Currently the student engineer is pacing the room ahead of a telephone interview/coding test this afternoon – and another with facebook later this week. The prospect of interviews and work in the real world are suddenly very real – so how does mum calm down a very nervous adult son, who seems to be talking in a foreign language when describing what is expected of him. I feel old!
Without further witterings, I introduce blog posts for this week. The first post from the lovely Angela is not a conventional wish list and it would be lovely if you would join in – please let Angela or me know what you are taking from her list! Sheryl’s December prompts on A Chronic Voice are listed below – again I look forward to reading your responses. For those in the UK don’t miss the post for reserving your ticket for the Bloggers Bash in London in the New Year – hope to see you there.
So for now sit down with your cuppa – or maybe you have started on the mulled wine – and enjoy some great blog posts!
Happy Monday PPals! I am currently sitting here cursing as WordPress decided to wipe my writing of this post and I can’t recover it. It was finished too!! Aghhhh
Anyway I will attempt to replicate it….the Uk’s Strictly Come Dancing is whirling through the weeks in a series of foxtrots, tangos, quicksteps and more. This weekend saw the couples entering a whole different level as they performed at the spiritual home of ballroom. Professionals and celebrities alike are all in awe of the iconic Palace Ballroom, Blackpool which takes centre stage and steals the thunder of the dancers, as it is so breathtaking.
Image from Google images
This weekend saw the end of the road for an inspirational young man who is a gold winning GB Paralympian and 100m sprinter. I am of course talking about Jonnie Peacock, the 24 year old athlete who aged 5 years underwent surgery for a below knee amputation, having contracted meningitis. He is the first contestant with a disability to take part in the main series and there have been questions along the way – Is it fair for Jonnie to perform the same dances as his able bodies counterparts? How can the judges possibly give Jonnie the same level of critique? Why are the judges picking on Jonnie’s posture, bottom position and stature when he has one leg?
But these questions have never come from Jonnie himself and in his farewll speech last night he said that he was honoured to be the first disabled contestant, and he thanked the judges for judging him as an equal saying
“That’s what I want. You’ve been critical with me and I want that criticism. I think that’s fantastic and hope it paves the way for more people to come through and I think they may be able to stick their bum under a bit better than me.”
His tearful professional partner Oti Mabuse said
“This has been one of the most life changing things that could ever happen to me. Jonnie is not only an inspiration but he represents so much more. ‘If anybody wants to do anything, if you put your mind to it then you can achieve it and that’s what he represents.”
I am not suggesting that we will all, abled or disabled, reach the heights of this remarkable young man, and for those of us living with chronic illness invariably daily pain and fatigue won’t even allow us to reach the putting our minds to it bit, let alone anything else!! But this is surely a good mantra to aspire to and Jonnie Peacock has left Strictly a dancer. Watching him jive on his running blade was a highlight for me…..and not forgetting him as Jack Sparrow on Halloween.
So from one inspiring young man to a handful of inspiring blog posts. With another weekend of dodgy dislocations, I have read lots of blogs, interspersed with cheesy family movies and heat pads! I have picked a selection of posts for you from a variety of bloggers – and as yesterday was World Prematurity Day, the first comes with a mascara alert as it is a post from Nicole that is written from the heart. I have also managed to slip in a Christmas post – never too early – and will aim to do so each week in the build up to the festivities.
So grab a cuppa, sit back and enjoy some fab posts!
Another week has flown by, there have been yet more storms – why did ours in the UK get the name Brian? – more Brexit and the increasing #MeToo campaign. In our house we saw the end of the German exchange as our lovely girl and her friends’ student partners returned home. Absolutely exhausted! The girls are now coming down off a high and the start of half term is a bit of an anticlimax, particularly with mock exams looming.
Our girl is studying art – you probably know already as this proud mum has posted pictures, much to the disgust of my girl – and has a portfolio to work on and also a sketchbook for an interview. The house is destined to filled with paints, charcoals, paper and panic! I am doing something this week that I don’t normally, but I’d like to shamelessly introduce you to some other talented youngsters – the triplet daughters of an old school friend.
Art By Three
They have been featured on Sky Landscape Artist of the Year, and are currently working with the UK’s National Trust on the Scotney Old Castle campaign. Whilst not strictly a blog post, I have included both their website and the campaign site as I strongly believe we should support and nurture young talent – I am not asking you to donate but to take a peek, maybe follow them on Facebook and Instagram…..
The other posts are all fantastic and range from an article that fits with the #MeToo campaign but stems from a personal story of surviving from Illness to Wellness, to acupuncture at My Migraine Life to social well being from a new blog to me Little Adventures NZ. There are a couple here that are particularly great reads for you ladies – I love the look at Envy on Wendy Fairy Art – and all you mums and dads must read “My Husband Doesn’t Help” from the Coffee Mom. It is not what you think it is!!! Add in some OCD at The Thyroid Damsel and what more diversity could you want?!
Image from Googles Images
So it is that time to grab a cuppa, turn your mobile to silent and spoil yourself with some great reads. Please comment, share and follow some of these lovely people if you enjoy their work.