Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You!

Welcome back to a new week and another Monday Magic!  It is a beautiful day here in the South East of the UK and a fantastic start for half term.  Of course here in the PainPals house there is only one child on half term and being a teen, we will be lucky to be graced by her presence before lunchtime no matter the weather.  The paper round will be done, but then it is back to bed!

Monday Magic Inspiring Blogs for You! 22.10.18

 

For me the week revolved around a dinner at my old school celebrating 40 years of c-education and as one of the original 10 year old girls back in the day, it has been a pleasure to contact others from my generation.

The very first girls!

The first little girls!

I had fun creating collages from photographs sent to me by old friends and enjoyed a wonderful trip down memory lane with old staff and old friends.   Our old headmaster added to this with his speech – several of the boys, now middle aged men, were just as badly behaved during this as they were 39 years ago! – and recalled the incident in the school hall where we all  sat for an end of year assembly when suddenly the hall doors flew open and in stalked a rather glamorous young lady.  Making her way up the middle aisle between the students, she slowly started to disrobe to the sniggers of the whole school whilst the head was slowly gathering his wits and said he wondered if she was a strippergram or a kissogram.  Meanwhile the school deputy, an altogether smaller, older and very conservative man, literally flew from the stage flapping his black gown around him.  I can’t remember seeing him without his gown and he always reminded me of a raven about to take flight as he dashed along the outdoor pathways, ruffling out his gown behind him.  On this occasion the gown was wrapped around the young lady and he bundled her out the back of the hall into a waiting classroom.  The head was a bit disgruntled – well he never discovered if she was a kissogram or strippergram! – as many pupils knew that the 6th form boys had arranged this stunt, including his own young son who kept the secret completely.  Little tyke!!  We never found out what the deputy did with said young woman after he bundled her out at speed.  It never fails to amaze me how the years just fall away when old friends catch up, and we girls had a really tight bond as there were so few of us – only 8 initially and 4 of us attended the dinner.

KGS girls.jpg

Lovely to see old friends and feel like a teen for a few minutes!  The chronic body stood up to a whole night out very well – not sure if that was down to adrenaline or wine – but needless to say the high is generally followed by a fall, or crash, and this has given me time to find some blogs which I have enjoyed.

So sit back with a cuppa and have a look at these great sites – I hope that you enjoy the variety as much as I did!

 

https://trend-able.com/chronic-bloggers/

https://chronicallystrong.com/lessons-from-cancer-caregiver-caregiving/

https://pamelajessen.com/2018/10/12/interview-october-roger/

https://www.jenhardy.net/is-laughter-the-best-medicine/

https://worldisateaparty.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/long-autumn-shadows-at-tea-time/

https://youtu.be/ZIAUD6eaN3Q

https://theimmortaljukebox.com/2018/10/17/pete-townshend-willie-mitchell-robert-parker-barefootin/

https://www.style-yourself-confident.com/seasonal-color-analysis-autumn.html

https://darlenefoster.wordpress.com/2018/10/18/20-fun-facts-about-my-blog-and-me/

https://sugarmuffin.home.blog/2018/10/16/bones-for-the-boneless-tv-shows-you-must-watch-this-halloween/

Please share, comment and spread some love for these bloggers!

Have a great week,

Claire x

The Blessed Project

Flicking through the blog posts on the blog share threads last weekend (Big Up Your Blog), one from Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride leapt off the page at me.  She has invited bloggers to join her in a very special, positive experience – The Blessed Project.

Susie says “Last year, I posted a list of blessings and included a few photos. The exercise took me to a place in my heart filled with love, gratitude, happiness, and sparkly things. My favorite! For the time it took to create the list, it banished bad news, headlines, and normal everyday frustrations like surfing to buy the perfect gift which is as slippery as Elf on a Shelf.”  What could possible be better at this time of the year than to focus on blessings…and some photos to embarrass your kids??

So where shall I start?

My family naturally…..hubby Duncan puts up with a lot, particularly on those flare days when I am horrible to be around, but he is always there.  He spends half his life running me to different hospitals across London and never (well almost never) complains and is always there to pick up the pieces – or just to pick me up!!

The kids…..it is challenging having the student engineer living back at home after 3 years away and my kitchen is living proof, but he is getting better at catching me before I pass out.  The middle one – do all middle children play on the old adage that middle borns have such a tough time? – is due home from uni next weekend and it will be lovely to see him (I think – dirty washing???).  We haven’t heard much from him, but presume that is a good thing – although he does send regular pics to his sister.  Finally my baby – my lovely girl.  She drives me mad with her untidiness, but she looks after me over and above what a teen should have to do for her mum – and constantly plays down the fact that she also has the same condition.

My parents – they live up the road and without them our lives would be so much harder on so many levels. Thank you, Mum & Dad!

Photo 28-06-2016, 12 15 43

Their first and only selfie!

My wheelchair – yes really!  It has given me a new lease of life as my mobility has decreased and pain has increased.  I have spent the last few years struggling to maintain some independence and to walk.  But the back pain initially and then the disabling effects of 2 back fusions (they really did add to my problems) and more hip dislocations have led to first funky walking sticks, then Smart crutches and now my wheels.  Not what I wanted during my 40s, but I can go out and join in! My eldest plans on taking me ice skating in it but I didn’t like the wicked glint in his eye when he suggested it!!

Friends who don’t give up on me when I blow them out, who stick by me and let me feel like the woman I used to be.  I also am very blessed to have a whole virtual friends family – bloggers and the chronic illness community who give such support and friendship…and “get it”!  Meeting with online Book Club friends at our annual birthday party was a treat.

I feel blessed to have found some kindred spirits this year at our EDS UK support group.

My furry friends – we have been blessed with some extra time with our elderly mutt, Sam, due to an understanding vet and painkillers (yes, for the dog!); but also our surrogate dogs, Chester who I love like my own, and Prince – both come round every week for walks with hubby and cuddles with me!

Samson

Samson

30 years on – meeting up with old school friends and feeling the years just slip away.  Hopefully staying in touch….have already met up with one and his family.Class of 87 pic

Finally….staying with the old school theme, I feel very blessed as the Chair of our alumni committee to have been invited to some wonderful events (Henley, the school drama) including the beautiful Carol Service last night in the parish church.  Talking to some of the parents and staff after, over mulled wine and mince pies, we all said that whether we were religious or not, it was a lovely way to start Christmas proper – putting aside the commercialism for just a short time and enjoying some true Christmas spirit.  There just might be a bit more of this spirit at the pub next week when I go to the One Term On event, for the youngsters returning after their first term at university…..won’t be staying too long as this old bird might really cramp their style!!!

 

Why don’t you link up your blessings with Susie?

Join the Blessed Project and Get Featured!

Pin for later:

The Blessed Project

Be kind to Each Other – You are all Beautiful.

Our house is feeling slightly more stressed than normal, and that is down to upcoming mock exams.  The loBe kindvely girl is in year 11 at school and will be taking her GCSE esams next summer – and this is the first year of the new exams  to be graded 1 – 9 with a new syllabus.  I’m not sure how widespread the stress is on a national level, but in her school the homework is being piled upon the girls as the teachers seem a little unsure of what to expect, and a meeting was held with the girls as so many of them are showing signs of extreme stress.  I know that some of the parents are also adding to the problems with pressure to revise and one is not allowing her daughter out of the house other than to go to school.

Apparently these anxiety levels are some of the highest that they have seen as a school. Our girl is usually very level headed, feted by her friends as being the most sensible one and  yet she had a melt down last weekend over her work resulting in tears.  So out of character and not what a parent wants to see.

Earlier this week she came home and told us something that I really want to share.  One of her close friends, a lovely young lady who has suffered her own share of anxiety issues since year 7 (for reasons that I will not be stating), recognised that everyone was becoming more and more wound up and she wanted to do something.  She went home and wrote by hand a letter to each of the girls in their close friendship group.  The letters were all individual – she could have written the same to each girl – and she focused on telling each one of her friends what she valued about them and their friendship.  She wanted them to remember that they are so much more than schoolwork, exams, sixth form applications and stress.  What a wonderful thing to do!

The Rules! (1)

The girls!

The lovely girl really appreciated this and was full of praise for her lovely friend.  To be able to recognise at this age, that a beautiful human is made from a rounded, balanced life and that positive, loving comments are so important,  must be a gift – for many of us it takes a lifetime to appreciate this.  This 15 year old reinforced that it is so important to be kind to each other.

If you would like to Pin

Be Kind pin

 

 

 

School Runs and Shopping Trolleys

Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You!

8

I am shattered today, PainPals and those pals not in pain!  Saturday was the day for the big reunion – that is 3 decades – 30 years since we left school.  I’m not quite sure which timescale sounds better!  How did that time pass so quickly? I remember my grandma telling me to value every day as the older you get the faster the time flies…but as a youngster I never took any notice.  Put together a group of people, some who haven’t seen each other for said 30 years, but who grew up together during those important teenage years….and it will feel like yesterday.  Similar theme to last week!

I was worried on Saturday morning for 2 reasons – firstly would anyone turn up and secondly I was feeling extremely POTSIE with the shakes and snow vision and forgot to take my midodrine pills with mine!  But on the up side about 20 people turned up over the course of the day/evening….and whilst I spent the first part of the day in my wheelchair the adrenalin seemed to kick in and I was able to stand for periods in the pub, sent out for my pills (good old Duncan) and was still in the pub for dinner in the evening.  It is amazing how you can push yourself when you need to and when you want to.  I find that it is about picking the occasions wisely to use your spoons, as it isn’t possible to live like this every day when a chronic illness is your constant companion.

The feedback has been fantastic – we had a great day renewing old friendships, reminiscing (being thrown out of choir, altering the wording on the carol service leaflet, sending Valentine cards, hockey, rowing, detentions for pranks…..the teachers) but also learning how everyone’s lives have moved on.  We had doctors, a headmistress, lawyers, an acupuncturist, a sports coach, a teacher, a horticulturist, an entrepreneur….the list goes on. Families have grown..and shrunk. Life goes on!

Class of 87 pic

Class of 87

So whilst I have had to sit back due to a self imposed inability to stand, I have found some new blog posts for you.  This week we have blogging posts, a yummy looking recipe site, a musical tribute and the feelings encountered when a pet is found to be very sick.  I am delighted to report that my list of blogs I have shared here has grown to 230 and many of these have been featured several times.  What a wonderful community you are!

Hope you have a cuppa in your hand, an hour to sit back and the enthusiasm to enjoy and explore these fantastic blogs.

https://www.disabledgo.com/blog/2017/09/activists-plan-day-long-musical-tribute-to-radical-and-brilliant-robert-dellar/#.Wb7PB7KGPIU

http://www.youcanalwaysstartnow.com/2017/09/11/is-the-universe-pushing-your-buttons-deal-with-it/

http://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2017/09/self-care-awareness-month.html/

http://riverandquill.com/2017/09/identity-theft.html/

https://beinglydia.com/2017/09/17/what-finding-out-my-dog-is-sick-has-taught-me/

http://www.livingnaturaltoday.com/2017/09/heart-goes-texas/

http://raisingzebras.weebly.com/blog/brain-mri-and-the-wheelchair-arrives

https://starbrightcooking.com/21-tips-classic-comfort-cooking/

http://www.strugglingwithserendipity.com/blog/accepting-harvard

http://www.angiecruise.com/what-i-learned-in-my-first-year-of-blogging/

Please, please share, pin, like, comment to let our bloggers know that you have enjoyed and value their writing. Have a lovely week!

Claire x

 

Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You!

Another week, time for another Magic Monday!  The events in our household really pale into insignificance compared to the natural disasters taking over so many parts of America at the moment.  The majority of us, thankfully, will never have to encounter the devastation that these natural phenomena wreak, but I want to send support and good wishes to all our American blogging pals who are living through this.  There is an additional blog post this week that my pal Cheryl at Chronic Mom blog wrote last week about what no one tells you about surviving a natural disaster with chronic illness – but I think that there are  probably aspects that apply to everyone!

 

8

We had an unexpected trip over the weekend – hence no blog post – and as it was a long trip for this chronic bird to make in a day, we paid an impromptu visit to old friends to beg a bed for the night.  Panic not other old friends, we gave them 24 hours notice!!  We haven’t seen each other for about 5 years, yet we have known each other for nearly 30 years – we “girls” did our nurse training together and the blokes have always been hifi and gadget buddies. Not forgetting that this fellow hifi nut was hubby’s best man 25 years ago!  With just a few precious friendships the years roll away and it is possible to appreciate the long and deep connections that you have with each other. As two couples, we have had our fair share of traumas over the past couple of years – we decided we should form the “Happy Pill” brigade as we must have shares in antidepressant companies between us – but we have survived and it is testament to our friendship that we can come together as if it was yesterday!  How many people in your life can you call on and truly rely upon to be there for you no matter what?  Quick shout out here for our fab friends’ facebook page – check it out (chocolate brownies to die for) Keeley House Bakery 

 

9

 

I have found some great blog reads for you this week including  becoming a real mermaid (just read it!), a fab book review, and using your imagination when putting pen to paper.  There is also a piece about the scandal currently coming to light about the use of mesh implants in surgical procedures.  So grab a cuppa, put your feet up and enjoy some fabulous writing in these inspiring blog posts!

http://www.chronicmom.com/2017/09/what-no-one-tells-you-about-surviving-a-natural-disaster-with-a-chronic-illness.html/

http://www.nataliemabbott.com/quitting-everything-to-be-a-mermaid/

http://moonglotexas.com/2017/09/10/book-review-death-at-thorburn-by-julianna-deering/

https://1stimeblogger1232.blogspot.co.uk/2017/09/every-scar-tells-story.html

http://www.meaction.net/2017/09/01/reading-matters-lets-hear-it/

https://dystoniaandme.com/2017/09/10/5th-blog-birthday/

http://www.amundanelife.co.uk/2017/09/anxiety-is-not-trend.html

http://invisiblyme.com/2017/09/05/the-mesh-scandal/

https://globehousesitterx2.wordpress.com/2017/09/10/a-pen-paper-and-my-imagination/

https://mindovermetablog.wordpress.com/2017/09/06/how-to-deal-with-toxic-people/

https://ginlemonade.wordpress.com/2017/08/30/when-the-accessible-hotel-room-is-inaccessible/

51XzYZSFU1L

Please share this post and make a blogger’s day with a like, share, pin or comment….it makes it all worthwhile.

Have a great week!

Claire x

 

 

Empathy isn’t just for Xmas

We have been so unwell since my last post!  Duncan and I haven’t stopped coughing yet, I lost my voice completely last week – much to the delight of the kids – and have forbidden the student from coming home as I’m sleeping in his bed.  I have missed out on the various nativity productions at my primary school and have cancelled so many socials with friends I have lost count.images (7)  Panic started to kick in at the end of last week when the cupboards were bare and the fridge was empty, so we hauled ourselves coughing and wheezing to the supermarket.  As friends commented that they were busy getting everything done for Christmas, I was thinking that I hadn’t even thought about it let alone started!  Going from post operative recovery straight into flu/cough for nearly 3 weeks has not been a great seasonal prep time.

I have to admit that I have struggled with my back – coughing is rough at the best of times, isn’t it, putting stress on the abs, causing headaches and stress incontinence for us girls.  So the added stress on a not quite healed operation site has been tough.  My implant site (right butt!) and right leg has been so sore that some mornings I’ve woken up feeling like I’ve been beaten up and even resorted to my post op naproxen again.  The stimulation has actually made my nerve pain worse whilst I’ve been ill – I wonder why?  After nearly 3 weeks I am so fed up!  But on the up side, I have managed to get into the hairdresser’s seat this week and it is official – I am no longer grey.  Thanks to my lovely friend Bev, I now look and nearly feel 10 years younger!  Duncan and I got out to a carol service for the other school where I sit on the alumni association – I sang the carols beautifully.  Really easy to do when, as you open your mouth, no sound comes out!  It was here that I was given a piece of advice from an old school friend who has lots of remedies from his Indian grandmother.  We do lemon and honey hot drinks (unless like my brother and I, you can’t stand the smell of honey – long story going back to our childhood, our great grandmother and pots of coffee “thickened” with honey!!) whereas he recommended turmeric in hot water…..mmmm, delicious!  But I have been that desperate that I would give anything a go and, sweetened with a spot of brown sugar, it has proven oddly soothing.  Duncan has been well enough to drive to his parents today, we have shipped the teenage daughter off to stay with my brother and sister in law (thanks, Sandra!), and the boys are still at school/uni……so I am enjoying a glorious couple of days in an empty house.  Just me and my dog and rubbish Christmas movies……

For this is the season for goodwill, over indulgence, sentimental tv and bonhomie, isn’t it?  How many of us struggle to maintain the cheerful face as everyone around us appears to be having such a fantastic time?  Whether it is loneliness, grief, poverty or illness, there are a myriad of reasons out there that actually make this time of year very difficult for some of us.  Guilt is another emotion that gets in the way.  Guilt that you aren’t feeling jolly; guilt that your condition is keeping your loved ones from the activities that you feel they should be a part of; guilt that others feel that they must tiptoe around you; guilt that you can’t do for your friends and family what you would want to; guilt for feeling jealous of them.

It really is so true that when the chips are down, we find out who our friends are.  Over the twenty or so years since I have had my back problems, I have been surprised more than once by both the friends who have stepped up with support and those who have not!  This old adage is even more true with a chronic condition.  I am well aware that for some people my disability makes me a bloody nuisance these days, but it can still be hurtful.  I don’t want to have to constantly ask for a lift for instance, but when “friends” just no longer even think to ask or offer it is tough.  I was listening to the fantastic Adele’s song “Million Years Ago” and she seemed to be singing my song when she describes “not being able to stand the reflection I see; my life flashing by; missing my friends, when my life was a party to be thrown; but that was a million years ago”. images (8) I can see my friends’ lives moving on, careers unfurling, travels taking them far and wide, and I do feel that mine has come to a stand still.  Self pity?  I hope not.  More being realistic and understanding my limitations.  Note to self – New Year, new pain relief with the scs, new stage in my life!

I received a text today from a very supportive friend apologising for being a “rubbish” friend for not being in touch recently.  Yet her teenage daughter, who has an Asperger’s diagnosis, had tried to commit suicide.  Have you noticed that it is often the people who are in the most difficult situations themselves, who are also the very people who do make the time for their friends in need? I guess this goes back to the “when the chips are down” again – when we have been there maybe we develop a heightened empathy.  A friend who has been particularly supportive of me and of Duncan since his  mental health breakdown last year, has undergone her own battle with breast cancer, including extensive reconstructive surgery earlier this year.  Kylie Minogue took the time to surprise a young woman in her home, with a party live on a BBC show last night to “thank” her for the work that she has done for a breast cancer organisation.  What marks her out is that she was undergoing her own treatment for breast cancer, diagnosed in her late twenties, looking at the possibility of infertility, and yet pushed herself to run marathons, fund raise and praise the bravery of other women around her.  Of course Kylie had her own personal experience to drive her to want to do something for this young lady.

download (1)Christmas!  Looking on the bright side, Star Wars is back in our cinemas, the X Factor has finished and Jose Mourinho has been sacked……sorry, Duncan!