Be kind to Each Other – You are all Beautiful.

On By Claire Saul (PainPalsBlog)In anxiety, chronic illness, friendship, Kindness

Our house is feeling slightly more stressed than normal, and that is down to upcoming mock exams.  The loBe kindvely girl is in year 11 at school and will be taking her GCSE esams next summer – and this is the first year of the new exams  to be graded 1 – 9 with a new syllabus.  I’m not sure how widespread the stress is on a national level, but in her school the homework is being piled upon the girls as the teachers seem a little unsure of what to expect, and a meeting was held with the girls as so many of them are showing signs of extreme stress.  I know that some of the parents are also adding to the problems with pressure to revise and one is not allowing her daughter out of the house other than to go to school.

Apparently these anxiety levels are some of the highest that they have seen as a school. Our girl is usually very level headed, feted by her friends as being the most sensible one and  yet she had a melt down last weekend over her work resulting in tears.  So out of character and not what a parent wants to see.

Earlier this week she came home and told us something that I really want to share.  One of her close friends, a lovely young lady who has suffered her own share of anxiety issues since year 7 (for reasons that I will not be stating), recognised that everyone was becoming more and more wound up and she wanted to do something.  She went home and wrote by hand a letter to each of the girls in their close friendship group.  The letters were all individual – she could have written the same to each girl – and she focused on telling each one of her friends what she valued about them and their friendship.  She wanted them to remember that they are so much more than schoolwork, exams, sixth form applications and stress.  What a wonderful thing to do!

The Rules! (1)
The girls!

The lovely girl really appreciated this and was full of praise for her lovely friend.  To be able to recognise at this age, that a beautiful human is made from a rounded, balanced life and that positive, loving comments are so important,  must be a gift – for many of us it takes a lifetime to appreciate this.  This 15 year old reinforced that it is so important to be kind to each other.

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62 thoughts on “Be kind to Each Other – You are all Beautiful.”

  1. josypheen

    That is so sweet! That girl will go far! ❤

    I feel so bad for the students who face the brunt of Michael Gove's meddling in the UK education system. He hasn't been education secretary for a couple of years now, but his terrible ideas are still making an impact. 😦

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  3. rachaelstray

    That’s beautiful. The stress you feel at school with all the hormone changes and then pressure for exams and what your next steps are going to be is a huge melting pot for anxiety. This is such a thoughtful thing to do. I bet they keep those letters forever.

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  7. Kindness is the best habit that we can grow….and the best solution to many problems……kindness, compassion and goodness, are somethings we can’t compromise on….nice reading Claire…

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  9. OK, so I was just recently wondering when female ‘friendships’ became such shallow one-ups. Reading this has made me hopeful for the future. Please tell your girl and her group to stick together.

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  11. thebigmoneysaver

    What a sweet thing for her friend to do. I think a lot of adults could learn a thing or two from her. It’s great that your daughter has friends like these!

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  13. Can I say I just shed a few tears after reading this post? How utterly thoughtful of that child to do this. In a world where kindness goes a long way, she just went a few miles! Much love and hugs to her and the entire group of kids.

    As for your daughter, tell her yes, the GCE is tough but she is tougher. Take it from someone who did it 20 years ago and is doing just fine today. All the best and ask her to enjoy the rest of the year as well as work hard. She’s earned it.

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    1. Aahh – thank you Shailaja. They are a lovely group and are very supportive of each other. Our house tends to be their social base so we have seen them grow into great young ladies. My daughter is currently sitting here preparing for her art exams – she is very talented, but lacks in confidence so her teacher is pushing her to expand boundaries. The title is I, Me, Mine…..watch this space!

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  14. Wonderful! I think you’re absolutely right. To be able to recognize the healing effects of kindness and a generous spirit towards others, both for herself and for her friends is extraordinary. I think she’s on to something. As I find, whenever I’m particularly anxious or feeling blue, finding the good in others, and telling them what I see lifts my spirits (and I hope their’s too.) Thank you for sharing such an inspirational post. I’m so glad you did.

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    1. Thank you for reading it Angela – I was in two minds, and must admit that I didn’t tell my girl until after – but it has received such positive feedback. There are a couple of them in the group, my own included, who are really empathetic and mindful of the group dynamics – so nice to see these days.

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  17. This is amazing. How sentimental and reassurance is just what you need when suffering with anxiety. That’s absolutely lovely. I wish everyone would do this. I’m definitely going to try it out 🙂

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  22. Its a true testament to character to find those who, when confronted with their own struggles, choose to reach out to others rather than hoard their own resources as best they are able. She must have a wonderful mother…

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  23. What a lovely thing to do! Makes you realise there are still good ones out there. Kindness is such an important thing, yet can seem so sparse. An act like that can make such a difference. Thanks for sharing and restoring my faith.

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  24. Love Cake Create

    What an absolutely lovely gesture by your daughter’s friend. Year 11 can be such a stressful time but it sounds like your daughter is in great company with a friend like that.

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  25. This is so lovely! I’ve been through GCSEs and I remember how stressful they were, I can’t imagine how much worse it must be now as noone knows what to expect! It sounds like your daughter has AMAZING friends, trust me, a solid friendship group/support system will help her so much!
    Jas xx

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  28. Unbound Roots

    What a beautiful gift your daughter’s friend gave to her friends. And, the public school system here in the U.S. is causing stress and anxiety also. Standardized testing and education is controlling everything. So much so that even the very young children are being stressed to the point of being physically ill. I used to teach, but quit as soon as my children were born. My husband and I have decided to homeschool our children at least through the younger years. I don’t want them to experience the stress and anxiety that is so wide-spread. How sad.

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    1. It is very sad. I have been a governor at my children’s primary school since being ill, and my husband now also works there as a pert time sports coach. We really see a huge change since our 3 were there with extra tutoring starting as young as 6! It is bad enough when they are stressed at 21 and in the 4th year of uni…..children need to learn in a holistic way. Not sure I could have done it, but well done you for making the decision to home school. Thanks for connecting too, Claire x

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  32. This is just lovely Claire, I hope things are going well with your daughter’s exams and wish her all the best. It’s a hard time for everyone and her friend was very sweet to write a letter to everyone. Thanks for sharing with us at the Blogger’s Pit Stop and I’ve pinned your post to the group board. Debbie from Deb’s World

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