Just Another Day – with EDS & POTS

 

Just Another Day pin

 

The world feels off kilter

I’m spinning…..round and round

Every time I lift my head

The snow  descends, engulfs me

At times it overwhelms me

And then, bang, down I fall.

 

Lucy EDS 1

 

Falling, falling, twisting down

How long it takes to reach the ground

Slow motion into blackness

Nothingness

Painless

Floating.

 

Pain, pain, pain

Why am I on the ground?

A twist here and a bend there

Limbs entangled, joints at angles

Unnatural, except for me

Stretch and snap is the norm.

 

Lucy EDS 2

Salt, water; water, salt

Compression to limbs.

Like an autumn leaf

I fall and break

My body fragile, unstable

Just another day with EDS and POTS.

POTS & Me

 

 

 

 

Stream of Consciousness – Becoming Chronic #SoCS #Chronic

There should be a Saturday on that title, but I am a day late which just about sums it up!!  But I had to join in this week, no matter how late, as the prompt was clearly written just for me.  I spotted Linda’s Friday prompt and it seemed to call out to me…..”Claire, Claire this is for you”, but the very thing relating to the prompt has been the same thing stopping me from typing, from letting my brain and my body work together, cohesively.

The prompt “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “-ic or -ical.” Find a word that uses the suffix “-ic” or “-ical.” Bonus points if you use both. Have fun!”

How many times do I use the suffix “ic” in the course of my blogging?  Just about every post.  Let me see – chronIC pain, chronIC illness, chronIC fatigue, chronIC bloggers, chronIC community.  But when does pain or illness become CHRONIC?  In fact what is it before this?

lit red and white candle lot on person s back

Photo by Ferdinand Studio on Pexels.com

The definition of chronic is “persisting for a long time or constantly recurring” – so how long is a long time? When does pain cease to be acute and cross into the chronic stage? How does a chronic illness earn that tag?

In a previous life, I was taught that a general rule is that when an illness has persisted constantly for 3 months or more, it can be thought to be chronic.  The illness may have slowly crept up on the individual, or gradually worsened increasing symptoms and disability.  With chronic pain, the pain itself often takes over and actually becomes the “illness” as the individual lives with it day in and day out.  Acute illness and pain is sudden and dramatic, but usually short lived in contrast to the never ending spiral of chronic conditions.

When does it become chronic.jpg

My own chronic dislocations, chronic pain and chronic brain fog have seen what can only be described as some comical situations over the last 48 hours (yes got the ical in too!!)……having literally gone down a rabbit hole in true Alice style, I shot out of my wheelchair and dislocated the shoulder(again…groan) and the opposite ankle.  In my bedroom that evening my ever helpful kids were taking a long time coming, so yours truly decided that hopping on the good leg was the obvious solution to get to the top of the stairs.  One failure of knee joint later had the young engineer, lovely girl and yours truly all collapsed in a rather strange heap……but why was I crying with laughter??? Strange things happen with these chronic problems!! Got to laugh though….

But did you know that Chronic can mean something else entirely?  I discovered quite by chance that it is the name given to a particular strain of cannabis……ironic or fitting I wonder, with the increased debate over the use of cannabis and CBD (cannabidiol – THC psychoactive element removed) for chronic pain and illness?

shallow focus photography of cannabis plant

Photo by Michael Fischer on Pexels.com

Answers welcome!

This post is part of Linda G Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click on the link to find all the other awesome posts in the comment section, and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-18-18/18d9a-post-comment-love-badge

One Rusty Old Body In Need of a Tune Up! Trip to the Pain Clinic

Tomorrow I go back to St Thomas’ hospital, London to the Pain clinic and it struck me that this is where my new life as a blogger began.  Three years ago I was first seen in the Pain clinic for the start of physical and psychological interviews to assess my suitability for a spinal cord stimulator trial.  Just over two years ago I became the recipient of an implant.  So much has changed in this time.

The last time that I was seen – approx 20 months ago – I walked into the clinic and was able to report that the scs had made a huge difference to my pain but we made a decision not to try to link it in to my neuropathic bladder damage.  Tomorrow the clinical nurse specialists might be surprised to see me enter in my wheelchair, albeit a smart burgundy number, rather than on my sparkly walking stick. File_000 They might be shocked to learn that my autonomic nervous system has become increasingly worse since the implant onto my spinal cord – merely coincidence, I couldn’t really say – causing me to regularly have severe dizzy spells, faints and difficulty controlling my body temperature.  I did dislocate several joints whilst I was on the residential 2 week pain course so this wouldn’t be new, but the fact that my right shoulder is out of place more than it is in and the faints generally knock a few body parts out of alignment might raise eyebrows.

All in all I think we can safely conclude that the body is behaving more like that of an eighty something, rather than a forty something (no, my own kids….I have not yet hit half a century!).  So it feels like time for a tune up……last week it was the cardiologist – heart still ticking, although the pipework could be in better nick!  Saggy vessels were the delicate descriptors for the network carrying the blood of yours truly.  Yesterday it was the turn of a new consultant – the upper gastro intestinal – to cast an eye upon this beauty.  She deemed a camera necessary to check out the fuel pipes and investigate the pains and possible paralysis of the stomach. Something to look forward to.  Next week there is a trip to the bone man – yes Mr Orthopaedic Shoulder Specialist is going to look at the dodgy joints, check the scan which will show a classic dislocation and hopefully come up with a solution to glue the arm permanently in place and all with minimum pain.  I think there may be a visit to the rheumatologist on the cards sometime soon, but don’t want to be greedy.

Rusty body

So tomorrow I hope that I can have a tune up – maybe the frequency and bandwave of the stimulation increased and widened to cover my right hip and leg too.  At the moment it covers the chronic, constant nerve pain in my back, left leg and foot – the result of nerve root damage in the lumbar spine.  The pain in my hips is different and is caused by a mix of arthritis, recurrent dislocations and stretched ligaments/soft tissue.   But the whole host of chronic pain types are all as a result of my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, literally a pain in the neck that has gradually overtaken life, but no use whinging as my kids remind me daily!  So when the nurses express surprise to see me so altered,  it won’t be because the scs isn’t working – would I have it done again?  In a heartbeat as it has given me  a way to manage some of the pain.

But I am hoping that with their little box of tricks, that looks very like a mechanics electronics box for tuning a modern car, the nurse might be able to switch on a couple more electrodes, alter the band width, tune in some good music and drown out some of this other bl**dy pain.  They might not be able to get rid of the rust, but will report back when I am wired for sound!