Book Review “The Girl at the End of the Road”

Disclaimer: I was fortunate to be given a copy of this book by The Book Club on Facebook in exchange for a fair and honest review.

The Girl at the End of the Road by K A Hitchins

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Vincent has found himself in a situation that any self-respecting “City” boy would balk at.  He has lost his job, his rented home, possibly his high maintenance girlfriend and perhaps most humiliating of all, he is on his way home to his parents’ house in Suffolk.  Rural Suffolk.  At this point in his life, a decade or so after leaving school, he did not expect to find himself becoming reacquainted with his childhood bedroom or learning how to live with his loving, but in his eyes, staid middle aged parents.

But he is clear in his own mind that this is just a temporary glitch.  The downturn in the economy and his huge personal debts will not hold him back.  However adjusting to life in the rural village of Elmsford proves hard for Vincent, who assumes himself to be a city hotshot.  There is no immediate access to internet, the job offers that he expected to flood in are nowhere in sight and his social life is virtually non-existent – unless you count dog walks with his parents’ elderly dog.  A trip to the local library brings him face to face with a memory from the past in the shape of librarian Sarah Penny.  Having run into this old school friend once, he finds himself encountering her on dog walks and then actively seeking her out.

So begins what initially seems to be the most unlikely of friendships.  Sarah is the antithesis of friends who have featured in Vincent’s life as she is serious, quiet, slightly dowdy and happy to be in Suffolk.  She is certainly unlike the city girls who dress and make up to the nines, expecting champagne fuelled dates and expensive accessories.  Sarah, in her almost simplistic view of the world, makes Vincent accept some unpleasant truths about himself and his attitudes to life.

The story could be very clichéd, and at first Vincent is a pretty unlikeable character.  But it was with real interest that I watched his character evolve from spoilt young man to something altogether different.  Maybe there is an element of fairy tale to this, but as Vincent grows so does Sarah and the reader begins to have a glimpse into a simple world of an exceptional young lady.  I don’t want to give any spoilers, but I believe that there is enough already written about Sarah’s autism not to be giving anything away.  I am not autistic so do not pretend to have any inside knowledge about this complex condition.  But I do belong to a community of chronic illness sufferers, some of whom are on the autistic spectrum and I have recently read articles by author Laura James, who has autism and my own condition, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  I feel that Sarah’s autism, which included her extraordinary intelligence, has been handled sensitively and with relevance to real life.  For instance, her coping mechanisms at dealing with life following her mother’s death and her growing relationship with Vincent.

This book made me think, made me sad and in parts made me laugh out loud.  Perhaps most importantly it made me examine my own attitudes to those we consider to be different to ourselves and also those closest to us.  In my disability chronic illness community we call ourselves “spoonies”, in the book Sarah and her friends call themselves “The Specials” – a fantastic name.  Of course there is a moral to the story for Vincent regarding what in life really makes you happy…..and sometimes you are unable to see it for trying too hard.

For me a great read, with a long review, but 5 stars all the way!

Monday Magic- Inspiring Blogs for You

Hello!  I hope that everyone is enjoying a fantastic Easter  long weekend.  I am still finding new blogs to share with you from the Chronic Illness Bloggers group and this week we have a mixture from art to crafts to our loved ones.  So go make yourself a cuppa, pull up a seat and enjoy getting to know some more fantastic inspiring people,

Claire x

Monday Magic

  1.  http://thethyroiddamsel.com/autoimmune-diseases/losing-friends-and-alienating-people/
  2. https://chronicallycomposed.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/knitter-natter/
  3. https://illness-to-wellness.com/2017/04/15/what-to-say-when-someone-doesnt-know-what-to-say-in-response-to-your-suffering/
  4. http://superpooped.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/spoonies-artist-problems.html?m=1
  5. http://mysurvivalcollective.com/thank-you-for-my-chronic-condition
  6. https://www.consciouscrafties.com/dealing-with-a-large-order/
  7. https://thegirlwiththefiveladsandfibro.blogspot.co.uk/
  8. http://mystripylife.blogspot.co.uk/2017/02/9-reasons-school-causes-stress-eds-cmt.html
  9. http://countingmyspoons.com/2017/04/when-your-partner-is-struggling-with-chronic-illness-and-pushing-you-away/
  10. http://fedupwithfatigue.com/april-14-2017-fibromyalgia-news/

 

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Beautiful picture from Ness’s post on The Girl with the Five Lads and Fibro

Can creativity be a realistic distraction in the face of chronic illness? “The Agony & The Ecstasy”

I have another link for you this week which examines how distraction, particularly through the arts, can help to manage symptoms of chronic illness.  This could of course be construed as a sweeping statement and I am certainly not saying that every chronic illness can be tamed by use of artistic means.  I am certain that those of us with chronic illnesses will readily say that our own conditions vary from day to day, some from hour to hour, and that relief and the methods to get that relief are variable.  In other words, conditions are individual and we certainly are.

I have written about British actress Cherylee Houston before.  She is in a long running British soap opera, is a chronic pain sufferer, wheelchair user and is the ambassador for Ehlers Danlos Support UK.  In this BBC Radio 4 programme she sets out to meet other chronic pain sufferers and to learn how the condition impacts upon their lives, their work and how they use creativity to help themselves.  Is pain always a negative experience or can it actually enhance creativity?

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Actress Cherylee Houston on the cobbles of Coronation Street with Lara Bloom, EDS.org

Many of us bloggers use writing as a creative way in which to help our own situation – this may be through connecting with others, supporting others in similar situations and reaching out for support ourselves – but more often than not actually writing about our experiences and feelings is a cathartic experience in itself.

 

 

Nearly everyone will be able to identify with some part of this programme and I hope that you find it inspiring.  Enjoy!

The Agony and The Ecstasy

Further reading : The Pain and Performance Artist Martin O’Brien – an essay

Photos from Google Image search

 

 

 

 

Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You

Monday Magic

 

Good evening and apologies for the delay in today’s MONDAY MAGIC.  I have been otherwise engaged in Accident and Emergency following a Potsie faint yesterday afternoon – my Smart crutches held onto my arms as I fell leaving me with dislocated shoulders, elbow alongside a hip, knee and ankle.  One shoulder was not playing ball and by this morning my hand was swollen and resembling navy cottage cheese, my neck and pec muscles were in spasm and my arm was twitching like a paper fortune telling fish.

An xray confirmed what we already knew – and more as it was a particularly “odd” dislocation according to the consultant.  A dose of IV fentanyl & paracetamol, midazolam to relax the muscles and knock me out and 2 burly doctors did the trick.  We did smile though when told to go back to fracture clinic in 10 days – it will be out several times by then!  Feel like I’ve been hit by a truck tonight – I hurt so many bits in the grand collapse that Duncan is banning all walks now!!

This week’s blogs for you to get your teeth into are:

  1. http://www.ggmandy.com/2017/04/07/life-interruption/
  2. https://morespoons.com/time-change-physician-done-part/
  3. http://www.fibrofantastic.com/yogaforfibromyalgia/
  4. http://girlinhealing.com/carrot-cake-w-cream-cheese-frosting-grain-refined-sugar-free-dairy-free-option/
  5. http://asouthernceliac.com/chronic-coffee-chat-living-grace/
  6. https://medium.com/@KirstenSchultz/a-roundup-of-posts-against-autism-speaks-5dbf7f8cfcc6
  7. https://robertmgoldstein.com/2017/04/09/broken/
  8. http://edsjour.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/health-update-blogging-from-my-hospital.html
  9. http://www.thisspooniespeaks.com/2017/04/my-experience-with-liberty-lotion.html
  10. http://itoldyouiwassick.info/2017/04/10/how-accessible-is-the-internet-for-people-with-disabilities-infographic/SONY DSC

Migraine – the dark jailer (BBC Radio 4 programme)

One of my earliest memories is of being in the back of the car as my parents went for a night out to relatives and the smell of mum’s perfume.  Romantic – for some maybe.  For me the memory is actually of feeling ill – nausea and head pains that got worse and worse as the smell of Rive Gauche perfume intensified.  Just typing the words makes me feel sick even now.

Today I know that I was experiencing my first migraines.  Funny thing is that mum has always suffered too and also found that certain smells would affect her – in fact she hardly ever wore perfume, and like me, never wears it now.  One of our worst nightmares is walking through a department store perfumery.  Some of us have definite triggers, some none; some experience aura, others none.  Migraine does tend to run in families and does have a genetic background.  Hence mum, me and now my son…..and of course for us there is also the familial Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is known to go hand in hand with migraine.

Through my late teens and early twenties I tried special diets, neck physiotherapy, acupuncture, hormone treatment – anything to try to escape the crippling pains, the nausea and vomiting, looking like I had a stroke and feeling like I was falling off the edge of the world.  Things became worse again when I was working night shifts –  2 different nights every week, 3 young children, no regular sleep pattern nor life pattern.  Something had to give and the migraines became more regular with more debilitating symptoms.  My GP had told me that I had to stop working nights and prior to my back problems resurfacing, I had requested a transfer to day shifts and was also applying for new jobs.

These days it is my son who experiences regular debilitating migraines.  Believe me, they are so much more than just “bad headaches” as so many seem to believe.  Visual disturbance, nausea, vomiting, unable to tolerate light and sounds, feeling not quite here…the list is different for everyone and goes on and on.  He is laid up for several days, in bed for hours despite prescription drugs and “hung over” after.

This is why I want to share with you this short BBC Radio 4 programme that was on earlier this week presented by writer and performer, A L Kennedy.  She says  “I find migraines fascinating. As a sufferer, they’re hard to explain to non migraineurs. They aren’t ‘just a headache’ and can even present as partial blindness. My first migraine was just that – a patch of total blindness in my left field of vision, which I was too shy to mention. Having compared notes, I find I’m not the only one to have had such an experience in adolescence.

“Then came the auras, the pain, the disorientation, tingling, the trouble finding the right words for things, the misdiagnosis as a stroke. Some migraineurs are rushed to hospital with doctors suspecting serious strokes or brain tumours.”

This recording will be so familiar to you sufferers and I hope insightful to everyone else – link can be found here:

A L Kennedy’s Migraine on BBCiplayer Radio 4.

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Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs

Monday Magic

Good morning Pain Pals!

Some more links on my new weekly spot featuring inspiring blogs from my friends over on Chronic Illness Bloggers.  So many fantastic posts that I have doubled the number that I am sharing with you this week – so kick off those shoes, feet up, time for a relaxing morning cuppa. Please read,….share….and enjoy!!

C x

  1. http://www.mesheacrysup.com/blog-living-a-fibrolife/spontaneous-smiles
  2. http://mini2z.com/pill-drill-a-fun-new-medication-management-system/
  3. https://livingwithme.blog/2017/03/26/outside-looking-in-introduction/
  4. http://bladder-help.com/the-bladder-microbiota-and-urinary-incontinence/
  5. http://lilacandlyme.com/2017/03/26/sunshine-blogger-quiz-voice-behind-lilac-lyme-blog/
  6. http://strengthandsunshine.com/paleo-strawberry-coconut-thumbprint-cookies-gluten-free-vegan/
  7. http://chronicallywhole.com/five-fabulous-moments-france-england/
  8. https://thezebramom.wordpress.com/2017/03/26/10-things-to-do-with-your-children-when-youre-stuck-in-bed/
  9. http://www.hospitalprincess.com/2017/03/i-havent-eaten-food-in-over-year.html
  10. http://www.chronicmom.com/2017/03/9-things-that-help-me-cope-with-fibromyalgia.html/
  11. https://mymigrainelife.wordpress.com/2017/03/27/tranquility-salt-cave-for-allergies-and-stress-relief/
  12. http://itoldyouiwassick.info/2017/03/27/the-scientifically-proven-way-to-recover-from-a-chronic-illness-without-getting-out-of-bed-the-connection-movie-review/
  13. https://alifelessphysical.com/2017/03/24/15-things-to-do-for-a-life-less-physical/
  14. http://www.jennavon.com/?p=559
  15. http://livewithcfs.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/weekly-inspiration-laura-hillenbrand-my.html
  16. http://www.thepaincompanion.com/blog/remembering-to-dream-a-week-of-inspiration-for-those-in-pain
  17. http://upbeatliving.net/pleasures-eating-mindfully/
  18. https://themswire.com/2017/02/24/the-music-of-ms/?frame-nonce=b7286ef3b1
  19. http://hope-health-healing.net/blog/2017/3/27/my-adventures-with-grilling-and-hair/
  20. https://www.survivingmypast.net/anxiety-tries-to-use-your-vulnerability-against-you/elizabeth-sonrel-our-lady-of-the-cow-parsleycrop

Today, You beat Me

Today, You beat me,

I woke with You again

Wrapped about my back like a lover,

Pulling at my limbs

My shoulders splayed

My joints pulled with gravity.

 

Today, You never let up.

I tried to lose You

But You brashly force out the monster,

The worst version of myself

Cross and bitter,

My loved ones suffer.SONY DSC

 

Today, You rob me.

My time is destroyed,

I cannot sit and idle in peace

For my body betrays me,

As you are with me

Within, trapping me.

 

Today, You beat me.

My body is weakened

And tears have fallen as spirit breaks.

So, so tired, no way back

I am bereft.

Pain, You have won.

 

Claire Saul

 

Today you beat me pin

Making Tea with Brain Fog

This You tube video made me laugh out loud.  Thank you so much Laura Chamberlain at Laura’s Pen.  I have done all these things so many times…..and I really don’t think it is just those of us with illness or drug induced brain fog that can relate!!

3 Ways to Love Your Body (even when it’s trying to kill you)

Sometimes it is very difficult to even like my body, let alone love it when it is hurting and letting me down. This post written by Em, That Silver Spoonie got me thinking……

That Silver Spoonie's avatarThat Silver Spoonie

It’s really tempting to hate your own body when you’re chronically ill, especially when you have autoimmune diseases.  I mean, when you have autoimmune problems, you’re body isn’t even trying to ward off an outside invader…your body is literally attacking itself!

I had a very short stint with basketball in the 7th grade, and during one game, I accidentally scored a basket against my own team. I felt  great about myself until my teammates were all glaring at me and I had realized my mistake. That basketball game was a pretty accurate metaphor for autoimmune disease, except your body doesn’t usually have that “a-hah moment” where it realizes that it’s working against its own teammates. It just continues to screw you over, unaware that it’s trashing your body instead of trashing the enemy.

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