Our house is feeling slightly more stressed than normal, and that is down to upcoming mock exams. The lovely girl is in year 11 at school and will be taking her GCSE esams next summer – and this is the first year of the new exams to be graded 1 – 9 with a new syllabus. I’m not sure how widespread the stress is on a national level, but in her school the homework is being piled upon the girls as the teachers seem a little unsure of what to expect, and a meeting was held with the girls as so many of them are showing signs of extreme stress. I know that some of the parents are also adding to the problems with pressure to revise and one is not allowing her daughter out of the house other than to go to school.
Apparently these anxiety levels are some of the highest that they have seen as a school. Our girl is usually very level headed, feted by her friends as being the most sensible one and yet she had a melt down last weekend over her work resulting in tears. So out of character and not what a parent wants to see.
Earlier this week she came home and told us something that I really want to share. One of her close friends, a lovely young lady who has suffered her own share of anxiety issues since year 7 (for reasons that I will not be stating), recognised that everyone was becoming more and more wound up and she wanted to do something. She went home and wrote by hand a letter to each of the girls in their close friendship group. The letters were all individual – she could have written the same to each girl – and she focused on telling each one of her friends what she valued about them and their friendship. She wanted them to remember that they are so much more than schoolwork, exams, sixth form applications and stress. What a wonderful thing to do!
The girls!
The lovely girl really appreciated this and was full of praise for her lovely friend. To be able to recognise at this age, that a beautiful human is made from a rounded, balanced life and that positive, loving comments are so important, must be a gift – for many of us it takes a lifetime to appreciate this. This 15 year old reinforced that it is so important to be kind to each other.
This weekend has been one of Remembrance in so many places across the globe. With Saturday being the 11th November, it was totally fitting that the Lord Mayor’s parade in the City of London started with the playing of the last post and a 2 minute silence. In true UK style, the weather was miserable – I can’t remember the last time it was fair for the Lord Mayor’s show!! Sunday however was a beautiful, crisp day as the veterans and current serving forces gathered alongside politicians, members of the public and the royal family for the service at the Cenotaph. The oldest veteran attending, a 99 year old former Royal Marine Ernie Searling, sent a heartfelt message to the world – “I feel very humble seeing so many hundreds of men and women on the parade today. So very, very humble, particularly those who are not with us on this day today… All I hope is that the future generations could see this parade, see some solidarity in it. See that the betterment of mankind in England, especially Great Britain, should be at its highest level. We don’t want street fights. We don’t want arguments. We don’t want racial injustice. All those things are horrible!” He brought a tear to eyes in our lounge.
Former Royal Marine Ernie Searling
Over the last week the BBC have been broadcasting a series of programmes celebrating and highlighting the roles women have played in war over the last one hundred years – Women at War 100 Years of Service. – currently available on the iplayer. It is difficult not to be inspired by the young women of the World Wars who were trailblazers for so many careers that women had previously not been able to undertake – and I would imagine that this is the case in other parts of the world when the men were on the front line. Some of these women, now elderly ladies, recounted tales of their training and deployment – as radio operators, munitions workers, pilots and engineers. These women paved the way for both women in the forces and in the workplace generally.
Image from Homefront Heroines website
Recruitment poster
My first inspiring blog for you today follows this theme and gives thanks on Remembrance Day – but the others have a mixture of themes from midlife crisis (me!!) to migraines to books & disability to Christmas baking & gifts! Not on quite the same par as WW2, but I think that you will enjoy these inspiring posts and urge you to grab a drink, take a seat and enjoy.
I have just observed the laying of the wreaths at the Cenotaph in Whitehall and it seems wholly appropriate to share with you this moving post from Butterfly in Remission blog.
Remembering the fallen on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month…Armistice Day.
Growing up Remembrance Day was always very much part of our yearly calendar, at my school and at home we were taught of its importance, what it meant to us and the world around us.
I decided to put my thoughts down ‘on paper’ and this is where they took me!
Over the years I have watched many films based on true war events, read numerous newspaper articles, books, watched news stories, documentaries and TV shows. As a result I’ve become very aware of the reality of war and have always felt a deep sadness for those involved. Under no illusions about the loss and devastation it leaves in its wake I am proud that we remember them all, from all conflicts once a year.
Oh my goodness, what have I done? I think that I experienced a brain storm this week – well an even greater one than usual!
Two years ago I had only recently started this blog and was recovering from spinal cord stimulator surgery when I wrote about some inspiring young people in the UK undertaking The Rickshaw Challenge. This is a project that has run for several years now and is championed by the BBC One Show – and particularly by presenter Matt Baker – in order to raise money for the UK charity Children in Need, founded by the late Sir Terry Wogan. A group of young people who will each have a story, from illness to bereavement to overcoming adversity, and have all in some way benefited from the charity, cycle a route across the UK on the rickshaw as a team and fund raise along the route.
Image from BBC website
The strength of mind and spirit to succeed always shines from these youngsters every year. I was caught off guard last week by a young lady called Sabah who is a member of this year’s 6 strong team. She has had multiple health problems, including cancer, a kidney transplant and now is on dialysis – but she told the audience in a most matter of fact way that she would simply do her stint pedaling the rickshaw and then stop for dialysis. I was a wreck by this point. But the determination of these young people, and Matt Baker who cycles the whole route with them giving encouragement and support, has really got me thinking.
Image courtesy of Google search
My own health has deteriorated over the last 2 years, and there is always an issue with chronic illness and the deconditioning of the body. For us bendy people with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome it is really important to keep moving and as physically strong as possible – most of us will have exercises from physiotherapists and doctors. But chronic health can become a vicious cycle (no pun intended) as the body becomes deconditioned due to pain, fatigue etc and then the deconditioning reduces the ability to “move” or exercise, in turn leading to further deconditioning. Add a spot of dysautonomia into the mix – check out what it is here – in my case dizziness, low blood pressure, raised pulse, fainting (POTS) and you have a recipe for an increasing number of sofa days and Netflix!
Image courtesy of Google search
So what is a middle aged (eek) girl to do in order to keep the mind and body working? Well, blogging and writing and generally being part of this fantastic online community does wonders for the mind alongside being a school governor and now chairing an alumni committee. The body isn’t so easy, especially on high pain and flare days. The spinal cord stimulator still helps to mask the leg and back pain from nerve root damage, but then for the EDS pain throw in some pregabalin, naproxen, cocodamol and the odd shot of oxynorm and the result may be manageable. The changes in weather don’t help and I am still certain that my titanium spine reacts to changes in air pressure!
But as the young Team Rickshaw show us, there is always someone worse off and always someone to inspire and motivate us. Sometimes it is important to set oneself a challenge in order to move from one day to the next when life is throwing rubbish about. I am still learning that those challenges need to be smaller these days than a decade ago – pacing….no, I don’t really do that very well.
Image courtesy of Google search
So back to my first question…what have I done? Well I have set myself a challenge and signed up for the Virtual Rickshaw challenge…..I will be riding on an exercise bike from the comfort of my living room between now and New Year. I’m not going to pretend that I will be burning up the miles and covering anywhere near the real rickshaw ride, or that I will even manage to pedal every day. But if those youngsters can overcome adversity and put themselves out there, then this old bird can surely help herself ….and if I can raise a little money for Children in Need, then all the better!!
If you would like to visit my challenge page please find it here…..no expectation to donate, but it would be lovely to receive some encouragement and support over the next couple of months…maybe you could even share for me. I will give you updates of my progress…..so with today as day one I managed 3 miles with only a neck vertebra and shoulder dislocated. Not bad going for me!! (Don’t worry folks, I am ok – good excuse to avoid the washing up!) Onward and upwards…
Here in the UK we don’t have the issues around a GP agreeing to treat chronic pain or of insurance covering prescription charges in the same way that patients in the USA do. I am not saying that our GPs always get it right when treating those of us with chronic ailments, and I believe that chronic pain can be treated back to front – that is drugs are thrown at it as a first line and then referrals for specialist pain clinics come too late. I was one of eleven on an in patient pain course for assessment for spinal cord stimulator implantation two years ago. We had all lived with chronic pain for years and this was the end of the road…..whilst we appreciated the teaching of coping mechanisms, self help and psychological support, most of us felt that this had come years too late in our treatment “journey”! We were all taking opioids and in order to qualify for a stimulator trial we had to come off or reduce this. A daunting task!
Any one living with chronic pain will have a stash of opioid drugs in the cupboard! A few of mine!!
This isn’t necessarily a criticism of our doctors – I know that they have such a limited time to see and get to the bottom of each patient’s problems. Who saw the BBC documentary series following Dr Rangan Chatterjee “Doctor in the House“? He had the luxury to be able to spend time with his patients – over a period of weeks he spent time in the home, became familiar with families and habits, diets, sleeping patterns, which all allowed him to dissect issues such as fibromyalgia, cluster headaches, chronic fatigue syndrome and more. But this is not the real world and in waiting rooms across both sides of the pond, the queue of people needing help for chronic pain grows.
I mentioned prescription costs and in the UK we are fortunate, yes I did say fortunate, to have a fixed price per item and for those of us needing more than one drug per month, the prepayment programme saves money on these charges. But we are experiencing constant cuts and patients are seeing their regular medication being withdrawn – I recently read a letter from a young father who has had his medication for rheumatoid arthritis stopped due to funding cut backs. However in other parts of the world patients must cover the full cost of drugs if insurance will not pay out – I take Lyrica/pregabalin and prior to the initial licence expiring, each month’s supply cost hundreds of pounds. The first time that I was prescribed it was at the private hospital attached to the hospice where I worked – aged 39 I had to ask my dad to pay as I didn’t have enough money with me to cover the private prescription. Dad has never let me forget that he put up the funds to start my drug habit!!! Such a joker….
Without further ado I would like to share with you Shelley’s post in which she discusses the use of opioids – both on prescription and illegally. It is an informative read, particularly for those in the States.
People with Chronic Pain did Not Cause the Opioid Epidemic
A great deal of people are uncomfortable with how often I address the “opioid epidemic” and how it hurts people with chronic pain. I think this is because healthy people like to imagine that doctors can fix everything and if something isn’t fixed that it must be the person’s fault. Therefore if someone is in pain they aren’t really being denied treatment for it, they just aren’t trying hard enough. Unfortunately the reality for people with chronic pain is very different. It doesn’t matter if you’re the perfect patient, doctors will no longer prescribe pain medicine.
Even if you’re lucky enough to find a doctor who will treat your pain, good luck getting your insurance to cover your prescription or your pharmacy to fill it. These days a pharmacy can refuse to fill your prescription and then call your doctor and tell them they were wrong to give you this medicine. Opioid hysteria has gotten so severe that now we’re bypassing the judgement of doctors and listening to pharmacists instead. My opinion of doctors has never been high, but they go through years of medical school for a reason. While pharmacists are educated they are not doctors and are not familiar with individual patients. So why are we granting pharmacist’s more power than doctors? Oh yeah, everyone on pain medication is an addict.
Here’s the problem though, the opioid epidemic does not come from prescribed pain medicine or chronic pain patients. In fact 75% of all opioid misuse starts with people using medication that wasn’t prescribed for them. Also 90% of addiction starts in the teenage years when teens are also misusing alcohol and hard drugs in addition to pain killers. Have we banned alcohol yet? Because 88,000 people die of alcohol related deaths per year and no one seems to care. Instead we ban pain killers even thoughless than one percent of those who were well-screened for drug problems developed new addictions during pain care. In other words, people with chronic pain are not the problem and were likely never the problem…….”
Welcome to another Monday Magic and some great blog posts to entertain and inspire. The last week has seen both Halloween and Bonfire night – I think that we gave out goodies to about 50 little witches and monsters (I know, this is small fry compared to some of my pals in the USA), and the fireworks seem to have been almost nightly.
I have to give a shout out to all our pets for having to put up with this human fascination with loud explosions, deafening whistles and a sky full of bright lights. Our old boy Samson spends much of the evening barking or trying to hide – at approx 15 he is getting on in dog years and periods of doggy dementia do kick in, particularly with fireworks. The beautiful Chester, our surrogate dog who we look after for friends and love as our own, was also very chilled on Saturday night unlike his best buddy Freddy (a neighbours’ pooch) who also spent the night barking. The things we put them through!
Our house has been transformed into an artist’s studio again this week, as the lovely girl has been putting together her sketch books for an interview at school tomorrow. Having 2 weeks half term holiday has given her even more time to spread her wares from room to room to room……I know I’m biased but she has come up with some great concepts for the project title “I. Me, Mine”. Meanwhile hubby, otherwise known as Mr Intimate Audio, has also been creating as he looks at new and exciting finishes for the hifi horn speakers that he designs and builds. I think that we need a studio…..
I, meanwhile, have found you a mixture of posts this week starting with “November Prompts” from my friend Sheryl at A Chronic Voice – this is a lovely link up, that I will try to put my own prompts to this month. I have found an interesting post about modern racism, some wonderful poetry on Thoughts from Jasmine, a post about social anxiety in children (very applicable for my lot even if they are tweens!) along with a mix of chronic illness posts. Need I say more – grab a cuppa, turn off your phone and enjoy some great reads!
Sometimes life can feel like a marathon, but this analogy to a life with chronic illness doesn’t quite work as the pain and fatigue probably won’t disappear over time. But what does keep you going when things get rough? Great post sharing just this…..
Imagine you are a marathon runner, struggling during the half-way mark. You are fatigued, suffering from muscle cramps and out of breath. However, you are determined to complete the marathon and cross the finish line.
So, what spurs you onto the finish the marathon despite the pain and fatigue? I can imagine that one thought would help is the knowledge that the end is in sight and awareness that the pain and fatigue will eventually end.
Unlike marathon runners, for those living with chronic illness, there is no end in sight of the pain and fatigue that we endure
Life with an invisible chronic condition, however, is in no way alike to the marathon analogy above. There is no knowledge that pain, fatigue or other symptoms will end when living with a chronic illness. There is no finish line when living with an invisible chronic illness. The question, therefore is if…
Good evening – yes, I know, evening, Pain Pals! I am just about managing to make this a Monday Magic post, having spent yesterday and today asleep after The Book Club party on Saturday – I could tell you that it was over indulgence, but sadly these days it is just down to fatigue. Those of you in the know appreciate how hard it can be to do anything – and believe me when this mum doesn’t even care what is going around her in the house (yesterday) things must be dire!! But a good time was had by all and we came away with some fantastic goody bags full of TBC author books – all arranged by the lovely Tracy Fenton (TBConFB and Compulsive Readers blog).
The lovely Tracy Fenton – we got the cake there in one piece, just!
Anyway feeling a bit more human now, and noting the date…..I thought I would have a flick through some of the fab groups I belong to and find my favourite Halloween inspired posts. There are some spooky books, scary films, ghostly doughnuts and a haunted Indian fort. My personal favourite as a baker is the Brain cake! So it is time to sit down, grab your favourite tipple and enjoy some All Hallow’s Eve fun! As for me…on the topic of all things eerie, I’m off to start season 2 of Stranger Things!
Tonight is the 3rd birthday for The Book Club on Facebook – a fantastic group that I belong to full of authors, reviewers and readers. Basically book people. Yours truly has been making the birthday cake over the last few days and with a shoulder slipping in and out of socket it has been no easy task!
Of course I have been too ambitious and I always start with an image of the finished cake, and then am disappointed in my results. This has taken me longer not just due to my lack of a right arm – yes, I am right handed – but also down to the design and needing to let it harden in phases. More of that later. It has made me draw parallels with expectations of everyday life – don’t worry I’m not going to get too deep here.
But how often do we set out with expectations of how an area of life will turn out only to be disappointed. So many people talk about their life plans from university to careers to marriage to children etc, etc. But life has this habit of throwing in a few surprises and curve balls along the way doesn’t it? Isn’t this true for everyone?
Life with illness – be it chronic, acute, mental or physical – is something few of us can anticipate and much less embrace. When I set off to nursing college as an eager 18 year old, I never dreamed that life would turn out like it has. But then I guess it is a good thing because with each setback it is so important to be able to get back up, brush yourself off and continue. If I had known when I had major back surgery at 21 that by 38 I would be heading for medical retirement, I might not have tried so hard to get myself back on my feet and back to work. I loved those years nursing and I think that I was a pretty good nurse. If I had known my genetic diagnosis – Ehlers Danlos Syndrome – and all that it covers aged in my teens, I might not taken up rowing and then gone on to nursing – probably the worst things I could have done but great experiences.
But then some of the curve balls can be pleasant surprises. For me probably the biggest surprise was falling pregnant when I had been told I would never conceive naturally. The tiredness, anaemia and nausea/sickness turned into a pregnancy when my GP carried out a PAP smear and informed my cervix was blue – a classic sign of a 13 week pregnancy apparently! I was taking HRT and had gone for a check up ahead of a new job – but came out as a mummy. A huge curve ball, not in the game plan but fantastic (although I wasn’t saying that half an hour ago when said babe, 21 years on, created havoc in the kitchen with a pot of pasta on the stove!).
The surprise. aged 4 weeks….now a cover board on Pinterest!
I suppose what I am getting at is the importance to strive hard but also to accept that not everything will go exactly to plan…..and this is ok. For me I’ve been thinking about the periods of needing to let my cake set before I can continue with it – living with chronic illness has these periods when fatigue hits and symptoms flare equalling a need to rest and pace. Wait for the cake to set! Don’t rush it, don’t take short cuts because there will be some sort of pay back. In my experience this is life – illness or not.
So back to the cake….it is for a book club, so clever clogs here decided to make a stack of books. The individual books were made – one chocolate, one Victoria sponge and one lemon – and then the icing covers started. This is where the patience and waiting was required and I’m not good at this part! Then last night came the final assembly of the three tier cake to form a stack of books……it wasn’t completely straight forward, there have been a couple of corners broken, some scaffolding was required and this morning some patch were required to plaster a few stress fractures. The result is a stack of books that are not altogether straight and definitely look like they have been well loved if a little dog eared. Not so different to life, I’d say – starting with high expectations (nothing wrong with that and I am not saying they should be lowered), hitting a few bumps along the way, the odd curve ball and maybe the finished product not quite as expected, but nevertheless created and to be made the best of. Not always easy to do or accept, but as the infamous anonymous quote says “Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it..”
Will let you know if this holds for the cake when it is tasted, as for comparisons with life….what do you think?