Sunday was a beautiful day and the garden called, loud and clear, as we have an abundance of pears all over the grass. Obviously picking up pears was not going to be my job, but that was easily delegated – with some resistance. Duncan has been doing a good job of turning the garden waste wheelie bin into a perry cider vat. I thought maybe I could manage some light gardening on the raised flower beds in our very steep garden. It is so hard sitting back and not doing jobs that I can see desperately need doing! Gardening has been a tricky one ever since my back problems came back to haunt me as, other than the grass, I have always been the gardener with some help from my dad at times. So it has been really hard each summer since I stopped work as the rest of the Saul household are unable to understand the concept of digging, weeding, hoeing, cutting back and generally cultivating the garden. There have been more rows about the garden than anything!
So I turned on my stimulator slightly higher as there was a nip in the air, and headed out to do some weeding. The cold was irritating my nerve pain immediately, but the stimulation meant that I was able to stay outside for a little while, even if I wasn’t able to actually do much! The digging and reaching was actually beyond me and I was exhausted so quickly – I guess that I have learnt my lesson as everything was so painful last night. Everyone always says we medics make the worst patients! Guess what I spent the afternoon doing? Watching rugby whilst peeling and cooking pears, pears and more pears. In fact if anyone local would like some just shout!!
Today I have really struggled with pain and my wound sites are so sore. The implant site has become very bruised and it is possible to see the outline quite clearly beneath the skin – it is really sore if anything catches it. I hope that with time the tissues will settle and no longer be painful, and that adequate scar tissue forms at both sites to hold the stimulator battery and the electrode leads well in place. It is a tricky balance with the pain control at the moment and one factor is I’m on a reducing dose of oxycontin – double strength synthetic morphine, known as hillbilly heroin in the States – so I’m unsure quite what causes increases or decreases in “my pain”. At times the stimulation, if not strong, actually feels like it is adding to it as my leg feels alive with movement, and I just need everything to quieten down. Strange when at other times, it kills it dead! I have to emphasise again, it isn’t a cure. But several of my friends from St Thomas’ are due to have trials imminently and I don’t want to discourage them.
Meanwhile we have stewed pears, poached pears and a rather good pear and chocolate upside down pudding that I rustled up………
Gosh Claire you are doing so much! Baking, weeding,blogging, going to concerts – thought you were trying to mind your self lol. You are right though medics make the worst patients – I know this only too well. Although now, two years after a my stim I work part time as a nurse. Having a very through understanding of pain, I am so empathetic to my patients and am very intolerant of people who think if someone can talk on the phone or eat their food they ‘can’t be too bad’! So being a medic in pain has pluses for someone just usually not the medic themselves 🙂 Your blog will have a positive effect on so many prospective patients waiting to trial the SCS. Honesty is important, although I think everyone goes into this with the hope that they will be the one person who gets the ‘all singing all dancing SCS, which cures all, even though we all know it’s not possible 😦
Mind yourself! (Navchic)
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Probably making it sound more than it really is, ha, ha! I’ll email you now I have your address, C x
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Hurray, a new friend who understands this life! The struggle between pacing, meds, SCS, and trying to steal some joy fom life! I’m a girl scout leader in the town I live in. Some days I love working with the girls and some days I am overwhelmed by it all. Last night they were practicing for a play we are going to put on, BB Wolf V Curley Pig! A mock trial – it is hilarious. Then they did a game to celebrate International Day of the Girl, totally didn’t ‘get’ the game at all! Next week I’ll be dressing up as a dead person…. Pre-Halloween party! Yes, it makes the pain worse, but I’m getting better at saying I can do somethings but not others. One of my fellow leaders has great expectations of me, and regularly asks me to take things on, but now I’m very honest- if I can, I will but lots of the physical stuff is outside my ability. I will continue with the girl guides, it is the only hobby I have now, and life can’t be all work – I only do that part-time now. Pain steals things, I’m just trying to keep some stuff!
Email anytime 🙂
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