A Zebra Returns – when a Flare combines with Brain Fog and equals a Blog Drought

On By Claire Saul (PainPalsBlog)In chronic illness, chronic pain

Why is it that chronic illness can leave you feeling like a hypochondriac? When one thing leads to another and then another and then yet another? A flare of days turns to weeks turns to months……

adult alone despair emotion
Photo by Ana Bregantin on Pexels.com

When I wrote my last blog post I had no idea and certainly no intention that it would take me so long before I would be back again.  So often we speak of pacing and the need to prioritise for our own self preservation, but even this can become physically and mentally exhausting.

Chronic pain combined with brain fog, combined with the disability of the dislocated right shoulder (yes of course I am right handed), multiplied by the hot weather doubling the effects of POTS and the number of faints, equals in some strange algebraic type equation a hell of a couple of months!!

 

A Zebra Returns 1

I am lucky to be an admin for a great group called the Chronic Illness Bloggers and I always prioritise the scheduling of their posts to Facebook as number one each week.  This means reading each blogger’s post to check that it adheres to the group rules ahead of scheduling and this is a past time that I look forward to – my guilty pleasure, for sure.  There are some seriously good writers out there and each week I come away having learnt something new, hungry to try another different recipe and generally inspired by our community. Brain fog and painful hand spasms have led to writer’s block on several different levels for my own writing……and on reading some of these wonderfully written and thought provoking blog posts, I have actually questioned my ability to write and felt a little intimidated.

The longer my flare and writing drought have endured the harder it has been to find my way back.  The inevitable thoughts of losing readers and poor stats start to creep in as the ever popular “how to write a successful blog” type posts crop up daily on my social media feeds.  Social media – aghhh! Has anyone else found themselves drowning in the inability to keep up with all the different platforms, when a head that has been stuffed with a mixture of cotton wool and candy floss will not allow you to remember how to even eat breakfast?  Scrolling down the ipad on Instagram is enough to set off hand pains, and keeping up with world politics on Twitter is enough to trigger a migraine!

adult alone anxious black and white
Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

 

Two days later and I am back to try to finish this post.  The last couple of days have been filled with fainting, trip to the doctor, more fainting, CIB scheduling, even more fainting and….oh no, the increase in symptoms caused by monthly hormonal fluctuations!!  Great.  But….I have read and scheduled more blog posts – found great tips on managing pain, journaling, the importance of a great support network to name but a few – and I thought about why I started blogging in the first place.  I knew nothing about stats and social media platforms – I wasn’t on Facebook or Twitter, and Instagram was just a word that the kids threw about.  Not once did I think about the numbers who might read my ramblings about chronic illness and family life. I wanted to share my experience of living with chronic pain and chronic illness – at the time having a spinal cord stimulator implanted to help with nerve pain – and maybe give something in the same way that I had received support and hope from other blogs.  Writing can be therapy, a distraction, an outlet, a hobby and a sanctuary.

So here sits this zebra attempting to write…hopeful and thankful and wanting to re-engage with this wonderful blog family.

 

A Zebra Returns

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PS: I am also the owner of some fab mauve fingerless compression gloves that help keep the spasms at bay when I type – hurray! IMG_0600

 

24 thoughts on “A Zebra Returns – when a Flare combines with Brain Fog and equals a Blog Drought”

  1. Lovely to see you back blogging, Claire. You’ve been having such a rough time.

    Social media definitely has me scratching my head sometimes. I can’t keep up. And as for Instagram – I started it, but I haven’t a clue how to go from there. I don’t have the energy for it.

    I hope things start picking up for you. Take care of yourself.

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      1. Hi Claire you have had a really bad time of it I hope you are better noe. The foot is still playing up I have a scan next week. Since I saw you I have been in hospital with sepsis. I have written two posts about it to point out the dangers to everyone. Fingers crossed we both improve soon 💜💜🤣

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      2. I’ve just seen your posts Willow – how awful! I hope you are doing OK now? You are right to get the word out there as so few people realise just how dangerous it can be – scheduling to share both posts over the next few days! Take care and sending hugs xxx

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      3. Thank you Claire both for your good wishes and the shares we do need to get the facts out there. Sepsis and Celluloses are more common and dangerous than we realize . How are you keeping 💜💜

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  4. I always enjoy reading your posts, Claire! You’re also a good writer. We spoonies are way more forgiving than other blogging niches, when poor health forces us to stop blogging for awhile. Hugs!

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  6. Losing the Plot

    Glad to see you back C. I can sympathise with a fair bit of this, though for me things at present are not too bad

    You wrote a post some time ago, about ED syndrome and it has really stuck with me. When things get a bit tight, I often think of you. I know things are difficult but you handle yourself with grace, and I keep that in mind. X

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  8. Brain fog is something that annoys the heck out of me, perhaps because I’ve always been more cerebral than physically inclined. Whether you write a lot or a little, whether you write something thoughtful or something that makes absolutely no sense, we’ll always be here to read it. A break can be good though, but always know we’re here. The gloves are a great idea, I’ve actually had a pair in my Amazon basket for a few weeks as I thought they may help with the joint pain (my little finger seems to get ‘stuck’ too, sticking out at an odd angle sometimes); I hope you find yours helpful, it’d be very ‘handy’ if they reduce the effects of spasms for you! Sending lots of hugs your way lovely  ♥
    Caz xxxx

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  12. josypheen

    Eep! That is a whole lot for you to deal with at once! I am impressed that you continued to work as an admin aaaand even consider writing through all of that! We’ll all be here whenever you feel well enough to write, so please don’t push yourself or cause yourself any extra pain!

    I am glad to see you back though, and I love the purple gloves!

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  13. Whenever I read your post about the ordeal you have to go through, I’m amazed by the resilience and strength you have, Claire. I would like to mention you are awesome, performing the duty of an admin when you have so many things and issues to grapple is worth an applause. I was wondering all this while where were you? Anyways, take care, don’t push yourself for updating the blog. When you are good, it will be great to hear from you.

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