Blog Tour and 5 Star Book Review for “Time Will Tell” by Eva Jordan #LoveBooksGroupTours

Blog tour for the highly anticipated third novel in the trilogy by Eva Jordan – the follow up to “183 Times a Year” and “All The Colours In Between”.  Many thanks to Love Books Group tours, Eva Jordan and Urbane Publications for the opportunity to take part.

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The Blurb – from the publisher

Writer, Lizzie Lemalf, and her loving but somewhat dysfunctional family are still grieving over the loss of a much-loved family member. Lizzie is doing her best to keep her family together but why does the recent death of a well-known celebrity have them all in a spin? The police suspect foul play; Lizzie and other family members suspect one another.

Lizzie begins searching for answers only to find herself being dragged back to the past, to 1960’s London to be exact, and to the former life of her father, that up until now she has never been privy to. Every family has its secrets but how can the past hold the key to a present day celebrity death? They say the past comes back to haunt you. Surely the truth will out? Maybe, but only time will tell…  

When I saw the final part of this trilogy was going to do the rounds on a blog tour, I just had to be a part of it.  Those of you who have followed my book reviews will know that I absolutely loved Eva Jordan’s first two books in the series, reading them back to back (you can find my review here – All The Colours In Between).  You simply must read the first books before embarking on Time Will Tell as the novel continues directly from the second and there is a large back story to be aware of.  Normally I write my own book summary, but in this case I am so wary of giving away spoilers, that I have just given you the publishers’ “blurb” above to wet your appetite!!

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Ms Jordan continues to tell the Lemalf family saga through the eyes of the family members, with different segments penned by different individuals.  This book gives a voice to more people though, alongside Lizzie, Cassie, Connor and Maisy, as Lizzie takes a trip back in time to her early childhood and before in her quest to unravel family history.

I loved hearing from her father, Salocin (Nicolas spelt backwards!) as he found his way into employment in 1960s London, found love and the value of friendship and loyalty.  Lizzie’s mother, Ellie, her Aunt Marie and Uncle Teddy also provide a narrative that both intrigues and fascinates Lizzie and the reader.  Their stories take us back to Clerkenwell, the City and the EastEnd as they fall in love and marry, then struggle to set up home and make ends meet.  Expect drama as the 60s tale unfolds across the narrative of the current day story – from early marriage and post natal depression to glamour, new homes and the murky world of organised crime and old style gangsters.  Warning – there are some descriptions of violence.

The characters continue to grow, both in age and personality – I still love the strong, yet poignant Lizzie and the now more mature Cassie (although her tendency toward saying the wrong expression is still there!).  The family dynamics remain dysfunctional yet loving, at times broken yet always fiercely loyal, both in the past and the current day.  This instalment of the Lemalf family saga involves an investigation, death and bereavement, some surprises from past and more recent relationships, all presided over by the wonderful head of the family Salocin.  I know that this is supposed to be the end….but I am sure there are some more stories left for Cassie, Maisy, Connor and the younger family members.  Please, Eva Jordan!

I cried and I laughed – I couldn’t put the book down and sat up late into the night to finish it.  The emotions that the characters put me through felt like a fairground ride – a true rollercoaster showing the myriad of family dynamics in technicolour! The last line has to go to Salocin though…..always remember “it’s not a life, it’s an adventure”.

Once again 5 stars!

Available from

Amazon

Waterstones

Barnes & Noble

About the Author

Eva Jordan Profile PicEva Jordan is a published writer of several short stories and Time Will Tell is her third novel. Eva lives in a small town in Cambridgeshire with partner Steve and three of our four children, who are a constant source of inspiration – they are all teenagers, need I say more! Eva’s career has been varied, including working in a Women’s Refuge and more recently at the city library. However, storytelling through the art of writing is her true passion.

 

Find Eva:

Twitter : @EvaJordan

@urbanebooks

Website

Facebook

Instagram 

 

 

Chronic pain: Catastrophizing

This is a reminder from Nikki at The Brainless Blogger how we can “catastrophize” our own pain

Brainless Blogger

Individuals differ in how they perceive pain, and in how they react to any painful experience. Some can work through the pain and make it through the day, while others think about their pain constantly, worry about when it will end and how much worse it will get. This negative emotional response to pain is called pain catastrophizing, Pain 101: The Latest Thinking About Pain Catastrophizing and Why It Matters for Chronic Pain

I don’t think any of us would disagree that when we focus on the pain, it is worse. When we can distract from it and negative thoughts, it helps. But many of do not like to think we are ‘catastrophizing’. Because it sounds like we are making mountains out of molehills. But really it means we can’t stop thinking about how much it sucks climbing that mountain. Instead of climbing the mountain, because we must. The mountain…

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Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You!

Monday Magic 18th Feb

It is half term break already – how did that happen? It feels like school has only just gone back!  Anyway we and the lovely girl are doggy sitting for friends this week, whilst our own old boy, Sam, has his holidays at his human grandparents.  I’m not sure if I have mentioned before but he was a rescue dog many years ago and the one foible we have never got him over is his dislike of other dogs.  So he will enjoy a quiet week in a calm house being spoilt with his favourite breakfasts and gravy on his grits!!

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Sharing a chronic moment!

 

Last night, feeling slightly energetic, I walked Sam up the road to my mum’s house.  I say walked….I’m not sure who was the slower, me or the dog.  If we had been going any slower we would be stationary and hubby was alternately pushing and pulling us.  We dropped Sam off and then continued the slow amble around the block heading back home.  Now when we had left home I was quite spritely – for me – so pooh-poohed the need for my wheelchair, taking just my stick and feeling quite invincible.  Big mistake!!  Half way back (it really isn’t far), and whilst going downhill, one foot was completely numb and the kneecap on the other side had dislocated….double whammy!  By this point I had a fit of the giggles but hubby, who was inelegantly hauling me along the road, did not see the funny side.  No more outings for me without wheelie back up!!

man riding bicycle with woman sitting in front

Photo by Charry Jin on Pexels.com

Talking of which the new car should be arriving soon, thanks to Motability agreeing to take back our current model so that we can have something that has a hoist fitted to take my new wheelchair.  Once I have figured out how to get it out of the house we will be sorted!!!  I am still waiting for an OT assessment which I hope will highlight the need for ramp access to the front door (amongst other things) – meanwhile we continue to encourage Sam to use the ramp outside the patio door rather than attempting, and failing, to jump off the side of it!

The young engineer is in San Francisco – a little bit of work, but mainly play.  I had a message to say that the Air b&b is “OK but doesn’t have a kitchen” to which my response was well he only knows how to prepare tuna with pasta so doesn’t really need one!  We have been introduced to the Forbes magazine lists this week – no I didn’t realise that they do the rich lists.  Anyway the young engineer and his business partner have somehow made it onto the Forbes 30 under 30 Europe Manufacturing and Industry list – the lovely girl is just staggered that her brother features on the same series of lists that Jess Glynn and George Ezra feature on (yes, yes..different category!).  Maybe one day it will be the rich list and he can keep his mother in the manner to which she would like to be accustomed….dream on, Claire!

 

Before I go I must introduce you to our fur babies for the week….Fred and Honey

 

and some fantastic blog posts from a variety of bloggers covering so many subjects.  So grab a drink, relax and enjoy!

https://www.achronicvoice.com/2019/02/13/twitter-tips/

http://theinsiderviews.com/2019/02/is-pilates-for-you.html/

https://www.radiantnubeginnings.com/one-size-doesnt-fit-all/

https://thechronictraveller.com/2019/02/06/chronic-illness-and-the-well-of-despair/

https://www.cbdhacker.com/cbd-for-inflammation/

https://esmesalon.com/2019-wednesday-interview-series/

https://pamelajessen.com/2019/02/17/fibromyalgia-and-loneliness/

https://justmuddlingthroughlife.co.uk/2019/02/17/children-again-poetry-challenge/

https://www.healthyeatingexperts.com/top-12-spring-superfoods/

https://theinspirationlady.com/self-care-ideas-for-highly-sensitive-people/

Please like, comment and share – spread some love!

Have a great week,

Claire x

A Rare Chronic Illness, A Book Review and a Love Letter – “Leo and the Lightning Dragons” #LoveBooksGroupTours

This is a special post today and it feels fitting that it falls on Valentine’s Day.  It combines a very rare chronic illness alongside a review for a book that I hope you will agree is a labour of love.

Have you heard of Ohtahara Syndrome? No, me neither.  It is a very rare form of epilepsy and seizures  usually start before the age of 3 months, often in the first days after birth.  In fact after birth and the first signs of seizures, some mothers realise that their baby has been having seizures whilst still in the uterus.  This form of epilepsy does not respond well to traditionally used seizure medications and treatment is very difficult.  Many babies will be floppy, have difficulty feeding and suffer repeated daily seizures.  The prognosis is poor. (Epilepsy.org.uk)

Leo White is a little boy who has Ohtahara syndrome and suffers many seizures daily that are as yet uncontrolled. When I was asked to review this book that his mother has written for him, I was delighted to be able to.

Many thanks to Leo and his family, the publishers and Love Books Group Tours for giving me the opportunity to read and review such a special book.

Pin for later

Leo pin 1

Leo and the Lightning Dragons

Leo is a knight, probably the bravest knight, and he fights dragons.  But the dragons that Leo fights are not normal everyday dragons, they are huge, lightning dragons inside his head.  Everyone around Leo tries to help, but they can’t tell when the dragons might strike or for how long.  The people of the kingdom and Leo’s parents all think this is so unfair and they try all sorts of special actions to help destroy the dragons, but Leo doesn’t seem to be strong enough to shake them off.  But one day Leo becomes very angry and decides to fight as hard as he can, making him the bravest knight in the land.

This is a wonderful children’s book written with love and personal experience, and is beautifully illustrated by Gilli B.  I am an adult who is able to understand the analogies cleverly used by Leo’s mother to describe the seizures that her little boy fights on a daily basis.  The lightning dragons inside his head depict so well epileptic seizures, and I can feel the frustration that the potions from witches, the music from minstrels and the special food from the wizard can do nothing to help – so often medics are unable to find suitable treatments for chronic illnesses whether this be medication, complimentary therapies or special diets.

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But what of the child reading this book?  It is perfect to become a favourite bedtime story for the early years, with its pictures of knights, dragons, witches, wizards, kings and queens.

But it is also perfect for an adult to introduce to a healthy child the idea that some people have different battles and these are against things inside their own bodies.  This need not be done in a scary way and indeed it isn’t in the book, as Leo the knight shows just how someone can battle with their own demons….or dragons in this case.

Leo’s mum also suggests ways at the end of the book to make this a “sensory” story and really bring to life the battles – wonderful and inclusive for all young children, including those with additional needs.  What child wouldn’t love using foil to make crackling, lightning sounds, slime to be witches potion or blowing bubbles from the cauldron? And we are told not to forget the cuddles!  Find more ideas on the website.

adorable blur bubble child

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

The royalties for the book are being donated to the Childrens Hospices Across Scotland, who continue to support Leo and his family and many others like them.

Leo’s mum says “Every day, my husband and I are amazed by Leo’s sheer determination and refusal to give up and we could not be more proud of our boy, the bravest knight we’ve ever seen.”

This is a lovely book that brought tears to my eyes, but will bring hours of fun to so many children.  On Valentine’s Day what could be better than this beautiful love letter from parents to their brave little boy – a true knight!

5 Stars for both the story and the illustrations

red heart drawed white printer paper on pink surface

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Buy here:

Amazon:

Waterstones

Find on Twitter:

@FledglingPress

@leolightdragons 

Website: http://www.leoandthelightningdragons.com/

About the Book and Author

Leo and Mum

“Gill wrote the story before Leo’s first birthday. It was a difficult time and Leo was having huge numbers of seizures every day. Feeling that Leo deserved a happier story, one in which his strength and bravery was rewarded, Gill wrote one for him.

She approached Gilli B, a Fife based artist, after seeing her artwork online and loving her whimsical and quirky style. Although she was only originally commissioned to do a few illustrations, she actually loved the story so much she asked to illustrate the whole thing and Leo got his own ’book’ for his birthday!

The following year, Gill had packed his book for a visit to the CHAS Hospice Rachel House and came back one day to find that the nursing staff had read it and written the most amazing comments inside.

Bolstered by their enthusiasm, Gill approached Edinburgh author Peter Burnett for some advice on how to get the book published. He took the book to Clare Cain at Fledgling Press, who fortunately loved the book. Fledgling Press do not normally publish children’s books but made an exception in this case, to help raise awareness of Ohtahara Syndrome and CHAS – Children’s Hospices Across Scotland.”

Taken from the website

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Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You!

This is the week of love with Valentine’s Day fast approaching – red hearts, champagne, velvet wrapped boxes of chocolates and of course red roses.  The shops are adorned and the internet is overflowing with suggestions of how to spoil your loved one.  The thing that I would just love for myself is a week of sleep.  Forget being wined and dined, fancy foil balloons or expensive flowers…..the secret to unlocking my heart is to give me sleep!!

Valentine Monday Magic

Seriously I need to find some self love this week after a week of sleep deprivation.  I never sleep brilliantly, but this week has felt like working night shifts again.  I no longer panic in the night, but read from a dimly lit kindle or listen to dramas on the BBC radio iplayer or play soothing sleep mixes on Youtube.  The problem comes half way through the next day when jet lag hits and after 3 sleepless nights this week it has well and truly hit!!  Thursday night was one of these nights, but I didn’t drop off to sleep until Friday afternoon.  By the time hubby woke me at nearly 7pm it was time to go out to play…..a takeaway with some close neighbours.  Curry for breakfast – can’t remember the last time I did the equivalent!  We had been tasked with taking liqueurs and wine – easy.  Unpacking the bag when we arrived we had red wine, white wine, limoncello, espresso liqueur, coffee cream, sambucca, oxynorm……what???  Oh no, don’t panic, just a little something for Claire and her pain!

artistic blossom bright clouds

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Something that did cheer me up this week was reading that chocolate shaped as hearts is calorie free…well, who knew?  This is something that I am totally believing for the whole week, so come on hubby remember how the lovely girl and I have always woken up to a chocolate heart on February 14th?  I promise never  to say again that snoring from the other side of the bed requires noise cancelling headphones!

turned on black samsung smartphone between headphones

Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Pexels.com

 

I haven’t given you a list of lovey, dovey red heart posts, but rather a diverse selection of blog posts.  They range from the breakfast pizza, to giving empowering compliments to girls to random acts of kindness.  My favourite has to be the slow cooker fudge brownies – there is a situation where the stomach rules the heart.  So sit back with a cuppa, or maybe a glass of something bubbly and enjoy some great blog posts.

 

https://www.theworldseesnormal.com/the-world-sees-normal/10-things-to-remember/

https://www.samsplaces.com/2019/02/bacon-egg-cheese-breakfast-pizza-recipe.html

https://justmuddlingthroughlife.co.uk/2019/02/08/10-tips-help-ease-stress-children-being-mum/

https://sweatpantsandcoffee.com/empowering-compliments-girls/

https://catchyourbreath60.com/february-is-heart-month-copd-and-heart-failure/

https://passionfruitpawsandpeonies.com/9-books-for-a-more-positive-2019/

https://lifeattheintersection.com/2019/02/11/practice-for-random-acts-of-kindness-day/

https://esmesalon.com/how-to-actually-chill-so-you-dont-burnout/

http://www.looneyforfood.com/slow-cooker-fudge-brownies/

https://www.unboundroots.com/my-heart/

 

Please share, like and comment to show how much you appreciate these bloggers!

Have a great week,

Claire x

 

Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You

So  you have probably already noticed that this is a day late, but somehow after reading and scheduling posts as admin for a Facebook group (Chronic Illness Bloggers – there are some seriously talented writers over there!), finishing a book review and just family life, I ran out of time yesterday.  But I have found some great posts so thought I’d share them today!

person using typewriter

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

This last week I have taken advantage of the cold weather and being sofa bound by catching up with reading blogs – I have managed lots of sharing but have been a bit rubbish at posting comments, so I apologise to my fellow bloggers.  Do you know that the nominations for the 2019 Bloggers’ Bash Awards are now officially open?  There are some great new categories this year so take a look and make sure you nominate your favourites!! You may even decide on someone in the list below – there is a great variety and some are new to me.  I particularly enjoyed the Verve View post about the good side of social media and the post from Sonja “Shh – don’t tell” made me laugh out loud….I think that all parents will be able to relate to it.  If anyone is in need of some pampering have a look at Brooke’s beauty product favs, or if like me you need to declutter then Shelley’s post about the Marie Kondo way might be better…..it would be so much easier if only the rest of the family understood what I’m trying to achieve!!

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Monday Magic -5:2:19

 

A high and low point of the week was the last part of the BBC adaptation of Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables – high as the series has been fantastic, low as it was the final instalment.  How will Sunday night measure up now?!  If you have access to the BBC iplayer and haven’t seen it yet….it is well worth watching.  The actors, costumes, set designs, make up (how did they make the beautiful Lily Collins look so awful?) are all wonderful.  Those of you thinking “I hate musicals” be assured that there is not a song to be heard – unless you count young Gavroche’s odd little ditty here and there.

Les Miserables - Generic Portraits

Les Miserables cast – from Radio Times

 

I’m keeping the preamble short today, having given you a long book review yesterday, so grab a cuppa, sit back and enjoy some great reads!

 

https://ginlemonade.com/2019/01/11/my-wedding-dress-my-wheelchair-me/

https://mymedmusings.com/2019/01/26/my-key-to-living-well-with-chronic-illness/

https://verveview.com/2019/01/30/sunflowers-and-social-media/

https://brookeclarke.com/beauty/my-favourite-beauty-products-of-2018/

https://jumpstartpositivity.com/refresh-your-mindset/

https://ohmrstucker.com/how-to-like-who-you-are/

https://holdmamashand.com/2019/02/03/shh-dont-tell/

https://darlenefoster.wordpress.com/2019/02/01/ghosts-in-the-attic/

https://lifeatno22.com/2019/01/31/what-happened-to/

https://motivatemenow.co.uk/theme-of-the-month-de-cluttering-the-marie-kondo-way/

Have a great week,

Claire x

 

Nominations are Now Open!

Have you nominated your favourite bloggers yet?!

The Annual Bloggers Bash

Now in its fifth year, the Annual Bloggers Bash returns bigger and better than ever. The venue is booked, the date is set for Saturday 15th June 2019 and the committee is busy working behind the scenes to ensure the day is full of fun, learning opportunities, networking, and, of course, the Blogtastic award ceremony. For more information about events on the day AND TO BUY A TICKET FOR THE EVENT, click here!

The Awards

The Annual Bloggers Bash Awards are open to bloggers from all over the world, and are nominated and voted for by the blogging community and general public.

This year, we have changed a number of the categories and the process in which the nominations happen, so please read the information below carefully.

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My spot on the Blog Tour and my Book Review for Seven Deadly Swords by Peter Sutton #LoveBooksGroupTours

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The year is 1097 and 16 year old Reymond is the son of a French farmer, but he yearns to join the Christian Crusades to free Jerusalem from the Saracen enemy.  He runs away from home to join the troop of Charles as a young recruit and is soon embroiled in fighting, sieges and killing.  The troop gradually moves across Europe and Reymond bands together with a group who become his brothers-in-arms.

The Holy War takes some unexpected twists as the Tafurs – peasants dressed in sack cloth yet know to be barbarians – join their ranks and Reymond and his friends become entwined with one particular young man, Sebastien.  He appears to hold powers of sorcery and the men find themselves swearing an oath and taking part in Sebastien’s strange rituals during which he knights them (and himself) as the seven virtues – Patience, Kindness, Diligence, Chastity, Humility, Temperance and Charity – and bestows a specially made sword upon each of them.  Sebastien claims to have visions that show how the men will take the Holy land and defeat the Saracen, but Reymond begins to suspect that there is sorcery at play.

The men find their fortunes changed forever when they partake in one particular ritual that involves a curse to lead them down a dark and deadly path from which there may be no return.  Can the curse of their new personalities and their ever present swords be broken?

Seven Swords Pin

I am thrilled to have been given the opportunity by Love Books Group and the author to read this fantasy thriller and to be a part of this blog tour.

When I started this tale, I must admit to not knowing what to expect after reading the “blurb”.  This feeling only increased when the first few chapters jumped from the present day back to 1097 and then to 1982, yet the lead character seemed to be the same young man Reymond albeit with a series of other names (Patience and Wrath).  Time travel? Doctor Who? However as the tale moved on I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together and came up with my own conclusion, and will leave you to do the same – although all is revealed.

I most enjoyed the elements of the book set in the time of the Crusades and felt that I was learning some history.  The author has researched well the Crusaders, the battles and sieges and their practices in order to make the book historically accurate – I found this when my interest was piqued by Mr Sutton and I did a little extra reading myself!  I wasn’t sure if the Tafurs existed, but found that there was indeed a large element of peasants and poor lay people who joined with the crusaders to fight the Saracen and are known by academics as Tafurs.  There may have been embellishment over the years about their appearance – wearing only sack cloth and being bare footed – and their cannibalism, but there are also ancient texts that describe the Tafurs as being considered barbarians by both the Crusaders and the Arabs (Saracens).  This might have been used as a military tactic by the Crusaders and the author makes use of this as cities are raided and there is talk of burning the enemy at the stake and eating human flesh.  I also established that there was indeed one considered to be the King of the Tafurs…..but as to sorcery, rituals and fantasy this may be something for the reader to decide!

Young Reymond grows from a boy to a man throughout the course of the book and within each century that we find him in.  I liked him as a character and even when he found himself having to carry out hideous acts, I was still routing for him.  The other “six” brothers-in-arms all have a back story, some more fleshed out than others (I loved Andros!) and I enjoyed reading the subtle transformation in their characters as they slowly took on their new personalities : Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Pride and Envy.  There are also two important secondary characters in the more recent incarnations of Reymond’s life – Fisher and Mari, the only female character – who play a vital role in the search for the elusive “book” that will provide the answer to remove the “curse”.  These characters have a more detailed back story and it is through their presence that the reader learns more of Reymond’s story and why a young man carries a sword in the modern day.

The story is fast and the action is definitely furious.  It jumps from century to century, from continent to continent and will keep you on your toes – but if you don’t do blood and gore then it may not be for you.  I think that reading on a Kindle makes it harder to flick back and forth to check what happened in a different part of the book, which I personally needed to do in order to recall an event that related to a new one!  No spoilers, but I wasn’t entirely convinced by some elements of the ritual that changed the personalities…..but then I remind myself that this is fantasy!!

Overall a really enjoyable fantasy thriller with some fantastic historical components.  Well worth a read if you enjoy something a little bit different.  I am definitely going to look out some of Pete Sutton’s other novels.

3.5 stars

Available from:

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Waterstones

Barnes & Noble

About the Author

Peter SuttonPete Sutton is the author of three books: A Tiding of Magpies, a collection of ‘deliciously dark tales,’ Sick City Syndrome, an urban fantasy set in Bristol where he lives and Seven Deadly Swords – a historical fantasy thriller partly set in the crusades, partly set in the modern day.

 

Pete  has a not so secret lair in the wilds of Fishponds, Bristol and dreams up stories, many of which are about magpies. He’s had stuff published, online and in book form, including a short story collection called A Tiding of Magpies (Shortlisted for the British Fantasy Award 2017) and the novel Sick City Syndrome. He wrote all about Fishponds for the Naked Guide to Bristol and has made more money from non-fiction than he has from fiction and wonders if that means the gods of publishing are trying to tell him something. Pete is a member of the North Bristol Writers. (from website)

 

Find him:

On Twitter

Website  http://petewsutton.com/ .

Kensington Gore Publishing

Pain, Pain Go Away…When Pain becomes All Consuming and Overwhelming

I woke yesterday morning very early, having only dropped off to sleep in the early hours.  A couple of hours of unsettled sleep and I knew that my bedfellow, pain was going to kick me about for the day.  Despite shivering in the cold early morning, there was that unwelcome yet familiar thin, feverish sheen of sweat all over my body that only comes with deep, intense pain.

Pin for later

Pain,Pain Go Away

 

The strange thing was that I couldn’t quite tell where the pain was.  Start from the feet and move upwards:

  • feet and ankles: pain, check; left nerve pain worse, check
  • lower legs and knees: pain, check; left nerve pain burning, check
  • thighs: burning, check;
  • hips: can’t move them, searing pain, check;
  • lower back: don’t even go there, hurts too much, check;
  • chest: every breath is creating pain somewhere else, check;
  • shoulders: both dislocated: do not move, check;
  • arms and hands: numb, yet burning, check;
  • neck: spasm and screaming, check;
  • head: did I drink last night???
  • face and teeth: really??!! Yes!

The problem with this pain is that when it peaks nothing will help to reduce it.  No amount of drugs, distraction, heat or other remedies will help.

Pain is deeply personal.  Your pain will be different to my pain.  My own pains are different – the neuropathic back and leg pain I experience from nerve root damage is very different to my other EDS pains. Our pain might be in the same part of of bodies, but we will probably describe it differently and it will behave differently.  The same bedfellow taking a different journey to reach the same location.

Pain (speaker)

When my constant companion reaches these dizzy heights, even my spinal cord stimulator struggles to jumble and alter the pain messages received by my brain.  Some professionals believe that chronic “neuropathic” pain signals are processed by the brain differently, making it more resistant and much harder to treat.  I honestly don’t know and when it reaches these levels, I don’t care.

“Chronic or persistent pain is pain that carries on for longer than 12 weeks despite medication or treatment.” NHS Inform

“Neuropathic pain is often described as a shooting or burning pain. It can go away on its own but is often chronic. Sometimes it is unrelenting and severe, and sometimes it comes and goes. It often is the result of nerve damage or a malfunctioning nervous system. The impact of nerve damage is a change in nerve function both at the site of the injury and areas around it.” WebMD

 

There are many definitions for “pain” available and there are also definitions on American sites & Wikipedia for “intractable pain“.

The ensuing brain fog means I lose clarity of any situation and irrational behaviour follows. “Mum, why are you trying to do housework like a mad woman?” asks my teenage daughter…..just because!

  • because I can’t sit still
  • because my brain has gone into overdrive yet feels like candy floss
  • because I can’t think straight
  • because I can’t stand still
  • because I feel sick
  • because I have to do something
  • because breathing hurts
  • because doing nothing hurts
  • because doing anything hurts
  • because I don’t know what to do to make it just F.O!

Pain on rain

Remember the old rhyme “Rain, Rain Go Away, Come again another Day”? Mine goes like this “Pain, pain go away, don’t come again another day!”  In this state pain killers just make me vomit, they don’t help anyway.  My beloved heat pad gives a little relief for a short period, but my body seems to know that the external temperatures have dropped despite central heating and layers of clothes.

This pain is exhausting and all consuming.  Eventually I am overcome and sink into a heavy, pain ridden slumber under a weighted blanket yet wake several hours later unrefreshed and still in pain.  What is to be done?  Watch the weather forecast, curse the temperatures (I know Chicago and other places have it a LOT worse, but my body doesn’t know that and anything near zero degrees is horrendous), try distractions and sit it out knowing that this peak will pass.

tears

Another day may feel wasted – another day of being unable to function, to be online with like minded pals, to read, to watch TV, to listen to music.  But this will calm, it will reduce from the peak to a trough and tomorrow is another day.

So today….I am here, I survived.  I am still in pain and currently sitting charging my spinal cord stimulator as I really can’t cope with turning it off during this cold weather.  The Six Nations rugby is on and feel like I have been in one of those scrums! My other pains are vying for attention now….when the nerve pain is at its worst the others fade into background noise, but today the shoulder and gut pain are shouting loudly.

But here I am typing, smiling, talking and tomorrow is definitely another day!

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