Every month I have great plans to take part in link up parties and then life seems to get in the way of writing. One link up that I particularly love is Sheryl’s on A Chronic Voice where she gives prompts aimed specifically for people living with chronic illness to express themselves and share experiences. January seems like the perfect month to join the party again…..so here goes!
This is a great prompt for a new year isn’t it? It could also be very cheesy!
I think that I would like to be dedicating more time and energy to working with fellow bloggers this year. Sometimes I see others who give so much of their time to commenting on and sharing the writing of others (Sheryl at A Chronic Voice, Caz at Invisibly Me, Esme at Esme Salon, Sue at Sizzling Towards Sixty – to name but a few) that I feel a bit inadequate in my feeble attempts.
So maybe I should say that I will try dedicating my own time to working effectively and to stop procrastinating. I had a teacher at school (Latin) who used to ask us “what is the thief of time” to which we 11 year olds would chant “pro..cra..sti..na..tion” without having a clue what it meant. Sir…I get it now!!
I really need to start establishing some proper self care routines that will see me through both the good days and the bad days. For me self care revolves around reducing stress levels, which in turn will help keep the pain at bay. At the moment “self care” – healthy eating, regular exercising (in our neighbours’ gym – so lucky!), pilates, meditation, mindfulness, rest etc etc – or maybe I should just say putting myself first in my schedule, well it seems to come way down the list of priorities and almost feels rather decadent.
I’ve written before about chronic pain and illness being my constant companion and there are so many times that it feels like my companion is putting up barriers for me or tying me down in knots. I want to be breaking through barriers and ties, physical and mental, that are holding me back and stopping me from feeling like the person I used to be, being the person I can be.
This might mean breaking some of the rules that I self inflict and wrap myself up in – one is the need for a clean, tidy house! The biggest problem is that my idea of clean and tidy does not quite match with the rest of the family……this causes me more stress than anything else, and whilst I will try to be more laid back, this will be a tough one for me to break!
Breaking crockery is also something I’d like to do less of in my kitchen!! Dislocated wrists and thumbs frequently equals dropped plates and mugs……BREAKING!!
Strengthening has to apply to my core!! Whilst I was still mobile and fit, I practised yoga daily and attended classes several times a week, and had even been asked to train as a yoga teacher by my teacher! My back has been troublesome ever since my surgery aged 21, so it has been important to keep my core muscles strong to support my weak back. I wouldn’t boast a 6 pack, but I had a very flat stomach which pinged back after each of my 3 caesarian sections! But….since turning 40 and my mobility and health have gone into free fall, those core muscles have gone into hiding……apparently muscle memory is a thing, if I can only coax them out.
I am not very good at just allowing myself “to be” – to accept my own limitations that come with my condition, to acknowledge the bad but to celebrate the good.
I want to allow myself to take a rest without beating myself up; allow myself to say “no”; allow myself to sit and just be without feeling guilty. Most of all I want to allow myself to accept my conditions, warts and all – accepting is not a weakness, I believe it is a strength and liberating!
So there we have it – my ramblings to add to the thoughts and writings of other bloggers that can be found here on A Chronic Voice. I hope you enjoy them all.
Update….as I type I have a new cleaner in the house – a lovely lady who works for a friend who said she could fit me in…..hurray. Now I just need to make sure I don’t fall into the trap of cleaning before she comes – just nagging the kids to make sure that the floors in their rooms can actually be seen to vacuum!!